My Friends & Family Have Too Many Opinions

When is he going to propose?  Are you guys fighting?  Shouldn’t you be mad about that?  I think that’s something to worry about, don’t you?

Everyone has those friends and family members who want to show that they care by inquiring into every little detail about your relationship and offering their personal opinion about every response.  They want to know everything!  Older siblings, younger siblings, parents, ex-boyfriends, best friends, co-workers, lots of people seem to feel comfortable offering their opinion about your relationship when you didn’t really ask for it.  They are usually just trying to “watch out for you”, but the barrage of questions and opinions can be extremely stressful and cause a negative influence on your relationship.  It could cause you to worry and start a fight with your significant other about something that doesn’t even need to be addressed!

If you find yourself doubting, lying, judging, stressing, worrying, or experiencing any other negative emotions surrounding questions or comments about your relationship that are coming from people outside the relationship, then you should really consider taking steps to change the situation.

• Before you let yourself worry about what someone else is worrying about, STOP!  Try to look at the situation calmly and ask yourself how you truly feel about it, regardless of what anyone else might think.  Remove yourself from family, friends, and society’s expectations and evaluate your relationship and your decisions independently.  Look at your own personal priorities, morals, and values in your life and figure out how you feel about the situation or the issue.

• If you decide, based on your own personal evaluation, that it is a situation worth addressing, then bring it up in a calm and logical way with your significant other.  Don’t start a fight!  There is a huge chance that after evaluating it on your own you will realize that it’s not worth discussing because you already understand each other in this area.  If it seems like an issue worth discussing, bring it up as an issue between the two of you and not as one that was inspired by an outside influence.

• Next time an inappropriate issue is brought up by a caring friend or family member, explain politely that you prefer to keep some issues in your relationship private.  Tell them that the two of you have that situation figured out between the two of you, and then change the subject to talk about something else.  Be careful not to be rude or insulting because you want your friend to feel comfortable telling you what they think in other situations!  Even though the comments and questions might have caused you some unneeded stress and worry, they were only coming from curiosity or concern and nothing malicious.

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