My kids think I’m weird
Yes, “weird” – that’s the term one of them used recently when I felt strongly that a 15-year-old had NO business going to a 9:45 PM movie with is girlfriend and some of her friends. Albeit, the parents were going to take them, drop them off, pick them up and bring them home – but NINE-FORTY-FIVE? I don’t think so!
I did the math for my son. A 9:45 movie would be over at 11:45 and to get to the car and drive home, IF he were the first one they dropped off, he would arrive home somewhere around 12:30 AM. NO Flippin’ way!
When I was sixteen, I was allowed to begin dating – not a single day before! AND my curfew was 11:00 PM. My dad was famous for stressing that 11:00 did NOT mean 11:01 or 11:02. It was ELEVEN or before or never again. Those were my options – and look at me, I LIVED to write about it this very day.
I don’t believe a 15-year-old has any business being out passed 10 PM. And that’s pushing it. They’re lucky I even let them out on these so called dates to begin with.
Considering I did the unthinkable, I read the text messages on his phone when I forced him to leave it behind for his day of community participation with our 4-H club.
I will say that I felt a sense of pride at the way my son conducts himself. He’s not rude or crude like I would have thought. However, I am very disturbed by the fact that the girl he likes keeps mentioning that she’s a virgin and wants my son to be her first. AHHHHHH. I wanted to heave! This girl is FORTEEN!
If this were a girl in my house… she damn well better be a virgin and better stay that way for a very long time! Regardless, she’s not a girl in my house, so I had to take another approach.
I can’t believe I had to go here – NOW…
An article on my buddy site Weary Parent on the topic of condom’s being included in Prom gift bags opened the door for my discussion and allowed me to keep my secret that I had snooped on their phones. Thanks Christine!
While I know that most of what I say is hogwash and I could never act upon it, I hope it buys me time by putting a certain amount of fear in my kids, enough fear to keep their penis in their pants!
I expressed to all three of my boys that “I AM PRO CHOICE and If they get a girl knocked up I will scream it if I have to! I won’t hesitate to schedule the appointment, pay the fee and even drive them to the clinic. I’ve seen the protesters, I KNOW where it’s at!”
I let them know that when it comes to MY kids, I will provide them with birth control and they ARE to use it. Because IF they get a girl pregnant, I will ONLY agree to one of TWO options and they both begin with the letter “A” – there will be no marriage and I certainly won’t let them give into the delusion that they can raise a baby themselves (which alternatively means I will raise the child) – Umm, NO WAY. I want to be able to ENJOY my grandkids, NOT raise them.
I made for a compelling argument and I think they really believed me. Let’s just hope they listened.
While I’m NO where near finished with this topic (my blood is boiling – “I’m still a virgin and want you to be my first” OMG), I am finished with this post. In closing, I ask you… Is fifteen too young to be dating and staying out so late?
I wasn’t allowed to date until 17, if that says anything. I’ve agree my kids can date at 16 and my son can hang out with girls WITH HIS SISTER at 15. Yep, I’ll have my little spy. I say you are in the right, ikkk for her to even write that to him. Makes one wonder what brought it up and even worse where she comes from. Yes, I do know that not all things kids think are from their upbringing but sometimes it is. Good luck, hope it works.
I was allowed to go out in groups at 15, and I did have a boyfriend, but I was told in no uncertain terms that my parents would kill me, bury me, dig me up and kill me again if I even thought about thinking about getting pregnant before I was married. We’re Catholic – abortion would have been out of the question for my folks (although don’t tell my mom – I’m pro choice too). And my mom also made it very clear she was done raising kids too. So fear of God and Motherhood gave me the impetus to tell my boyfriend to keep his hands to himself.
My mom did however give me one good bit of advice: “There are a lot of things you can do without having intercourse. Be creative.” She was right.
My mom’s “talk” was this. “If you’re having sex, I hope you’re being smart about it.” Yeah… that was it.
I think in a group setting it is ok to do things in public on occasion, but I had a 10PM cerfew until I was 16. Then it was 11PM… and my senior year (I was 18), I did what I wanted.
Give ‘em hell Gayla!!
Gayla – have you broached the subject of the girlfriend being a virgin at all with him? I have boys and although my husband hopes they’re little stud-muffins, I’m really worried about the teenage boy experience. My main concern is that I don’t want them a) having sex too young; b) having wreckless, unprotected sex and c) taking virginity lightly. I don’t want my boys to be one of those heartless kids who’s life’s goal is to “conquer” as many high school girls as he can. I guess I just want them to know that sex -for girls- usually has strong feelings attached and taking someone’s virginity (even if she wants you to) is a big responsibility.
I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16 and even then it was a group thing and my curfew of 10pm and just like your dad said “not a minute later”. My daughter can date at 16 as well and I will know where she is.