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I was speaking last night to the director of the new YAI Autism Center, for which I’ve written two blogs. “Beautifully written,” the good doctor said of them, so naturally I thought he was a pretty sharp guy.

“I’m curious to see how the blog will develop,” he continued. “It seems that often when a center like ours has a blog, it finds itself having to take some stand. I was wondering what your views are?”

Oh. In the whole cause-of-autism thing? Yes.

I have no stand.  I usually answer that better minds than mine are working on this. Premature birth? Vaccines? Phases of the moon? All are good candidates. I’ve read up on the vaccine/mercury versus non-vaccine/mercury debate, most recently in Autism’s False Prophets, and I haven’t settled on either side. I am certain, however, that something’s responsible for Alex still liking “Elmo” and “Dragon Tales” at nearly age 11.

So I dredged what I could recall from Alex’s vaccination schedule from back when Bill Clinton was still president and Godzilla was the hot summer movie, but honestly, when your first baby lives in a plastic box and you must leave him in a hospital night after night and you still have what will be a full year ahead of you of more of the same, the shot slate doesn’t stick in your mind — especially if it’ll be a long time before you realize that slate’s potential importance.

I do know what side I fall on in the debate: on the side of not believing you have a lock on the whole truth, and not on the side of making death threats to those who publicly oppose your views. The unending ability of people in a terrifying situation to fragment, takes your breath away.

The doctor talked to me about the latest research and I agreed it sounded promising, and I assured him that if he stumbled across a cure I’d be one of the first in line. But, last I leaned on the crutch of the Layman Parent Writer:

“My opinion,” I said, ”is that I fear for Alex’s adulthood.” That certainly seemed to be something we agreed on.

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Visit YAI’s Autism Center Community here.

“Toddler Brain Difference Linked to Autism,” from CNN.

Researchers find first common autism gene, from Reuters.

(Image: taoism.about.com)