Noises and Noisy Is As Noisy Sounds
July 6, 2008 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
Noise seems to have become a bit of a theme around here, if not part of a sort of soundtrack. Charlie’s sensitivity to sounds—something he never had until this year—-is so great that he plants his hands over his ears soon as I try to turn on the car radio. Motorcycles, police and ambulance sirens, and the rumble of the traffic all warrant a fast rolling up of the windows, and he sits now in the subway leaning forward, hands on those ears. He doesn’t necessarily seem in discomfort, but trying to screen the sounds tumult.
Fourth of July fireworks have never been a big deal until last Friday night. The rain was coming down as we drove to a firemen’s carnival in a certain central Jersey town and at first Jim and I figured we should turn around. We asked Charlie if he’d like to go to his favorite hamburger place and he said,
“No hamburger. Ferris wheel!”
That decided it.
It was a small carnival on a grassy (and therefore muddy) hill. Despite the weather, cars jammed the parking lot and there was a good crowd of parents and little kids, and teenagers trying to look like they weren’t trying to see who was looking at them. We got tickets and Jim and Charlie got in line for Charlie’s favorite, the ferris wheel. I waved from the ground and took photos and as they were coming down the stairs, a big BOOM could be heard. Charlie cried out and put his hands over his ears. We asked him what ride he’d like to do next and he saw the Pharaoh’s Revenge—it’s the Sea Dragon to Charlie, a big ship that swings wildly back and forth—-and we headed to that. We passed a booth with games and loud rock music and that didn’t help, nor did another BOOM from just past the Pharaoh’s Revenge, which Charlie rode with his hands planted over his ears and moaning.
I rubbed his head and Jim got Charlie a hamburger. Charlie sat on a rain-streaked bench and, as he ate his burger and than some fries, his hands came off his ears and he stopped crying. We left, glad that we’d gotten some rides in as Charlie’d requested, and more attuned than ever to how noisy a carnival can be.
And, to the noises we make. Charlie’s hands go up if my voice rises (as it does when I’m excited and cheering him on for doing something) and on hearing the lawnmower. His own running back and forth, occasional stomping and doing other vaguely noisy things that an active 11-year-old boy is prone to do, have been the reason we had thought we should move from our second-floor condo, once our lease is up in early September. Our downstairs neighbor (a retired man living by himself) indicated a couple of months ago that the noise had to stop. We bought more rugs and have done our best to remind Charlie to walk softly, not stomp (so much) and not run fast and furious up and down the halls. We’re not home all the time, though more in the summer as Charlie’s school days are shorter.
Needless to say, though we live in suburban New Jersey in an anonymous condo complex, we share the same woes as New York apartment-dwelling families with children who make noise and noted in the July 6th New York Times. What child doesn’t make noise? As one mother wrote:
“We do indeed walk on eggshells, and I find myself on tiptoes if I have high heels on, even when I’m not home……I’m a trained monkey. But my 19-month-old is not.”
Ok, Charlie is 11 years old and yes, he does some things—like stomping and jumping—-for sensory reasons, and I guess a “typical” 11 year old boy would be able to stop doing so or could go outside to the parking lot to play, without my going out with him. I certainly don’t wear high heels at home (or at all, actually) and we try, but some noise is inevitable. Jim and I have felt that the best thing to do is to move, but with Jim’s recent back injury, the ruckus and costs of moving just seems extra-daunting.
If we did move, it would be at the end of August/very beginning of September, which is just when Charlie is starting school and I know the transportation department will have to take an extra week to figure out a new bus route for Charlie: And us driving him to school, instead of the yellow school bus showing up, is an unsettling way for him to start middle school. (Indeed, Charlie’s teachers are working on him learning to identify his own bus based on the number posted in the bus’s window.)
So it looks like we’re going to try to be as good neighbors as we can be and hopefully talk about solutions and compromises with the neighbor. We saw it through the fireworks on the Fourth of July and I’m hopeful we can see the noise and the neighbor situation through, too.
I’d knock on wood, but don’t want to make too much —– shhhhhhhh.
I’ve seen other kids with the noise canceling headphones and thought about getting a pair for Andy. Noise doesn’t bother him everywhere but he looks so uncomfortable when it does.
Maybe get a pair for your neighbor?
I totally sympathize about your downstairs neighbor. I was just short of war with my old neighbor (I may have mentioned before) because of Gus and his sister. I wish you the best with that one.
Gus has always had trouble with noise, but it seemed to get better for a long time and it’s gotten worse again since the spring. He’s been covering his ears quite a lot. I think part of it may be that his OT is focusing more on building independence and less on the sensory issues. The medication has seemed to exacerbate it even more (but that could be my own bias, I’ll admit). At school, music helped him focus on his work. Noise cancelling headphones (I may try those, too, Sharon!) might not be a bad idea if it’s really starting to bother Charlie.
Kristina, my Casey has been going through some sound sensitivity himself, and my OT sister suggested I go and get some hunter earprotectors. They look like the giant earphones anyone can remember from the 70’s and early 80’s that you would plug into the stereo to listen with no cord. Casey actually asks for them at times and I have tried them and they are actually very comforting. They look kinda odd, but for us, so does a little guy walking around with his fingers in his ears. I found mine at Kmart for ten bucks by the way, a cheap helper for sure.
I can relate to your noisy child woes, thankfully we live in a house seperate from others, although when the windows are open, people in the neighborhood can hear Case belt out some odd sounds, I can’t even imagine what they are thinking.
Glad Charlie had fun, despite the rain.
I really highly suggest those hunter earphones though!
Instead of going through the stress and cost of moving and disrupting your son’s routine and transition to middle school, consider paying your downstairs neighbor a “noise tax”. Maybe a few dollars a month (5? 10?) to compensate him, smooth the waters and yes “buy him off”.
Everyone can use extra cash and EVERY boy is noisy, no exceptions. Does Charlie jump up to touch the door jams yet? He will!
I have learned in life sometimes the most obvious fixes (if on the face of it distasteful) are the best compromises.
~We had the same thing with our next door, childless neighbors who would bang on the wall whenever Bratty was having a tantrum. Very frustrating as it was “like yeah, We know she’s screaming”. The female neighbor even stopped my husband on the street to tell him they were selling the house; because of Bratty who was there in the pram at the time. Evil.
Bratty is on Respiradone now, and a lot of her screaming has stopped. Certainly the intensity of it has subsided when she does have a tantrum.
And the neighbors couldnt sell so they got two dogs which howl and bark at the smallest thing. 15-15.
Bratty has those issues with noises ironically. I carry anti-bacterial gel for using in public bathrooms as we cannot hang around to hand wash with the noise from the dryers. And she objected to the washing machine and dryer for a long time; about 18 months. At the same time she craved noise like her t.v. and computer games to be on full volume. Go figure.
We did a spell of “listening with the whole body”. with special seinheiser headphones and specially tuned cds. The songs sound like scratchy annoying jazz but with 15 minutes a day, Bratty began to “retune” and build tolerance to sounds while allowing us to reduce the volume on the T.V. I think it teaches their ears to “reach” for sounds the way an eye exercise like moving a pencil back and forth would do.
I took the data, compared it and varied the environmental events and it really did seem to make the difference. We have faded it now with no recurrence of the anti-social noise tolerance. She still wears the headphones daily but now they are plugged into her laptop.
I also got a plumber to fit a washing machine connection into our storage cupboard, to reduce the noise and access.
Sometimes it is the environment, sometimes it is the therapy. But life has certainly got better.
xx
I find the noise to be a trigger for a round of OCD with the little one. He has very few obsessions/compulsions/things that annoy him, but noises are one I have to make him live with. You can’t eliminate it, and you have to live with it.
Little steps we have found help a lot. The simplest was turning on the tv, music at school slowly, and by the time it was loud enough to here it didn’t startle him.
I also find the noises bother him more when other sensory issues are up. Like they were in June (school ending, wacky weather). We were at gym and he was UPSET…. finally I heard it, boom, boom, boom… (good thing I have better than perfect hearing
). They had the other stereo on and all you could hear was the bass. Yet, he had had no issues with it turned up higher before. But boom, boom, boom… was annoying. Putting in a sensory diet/brushing helped 100% with this.
Fireworks… I think the bigger problem was we pushed him too far…. too late at night, wet pants… we got him tidied up, and a blanket over his head and hands over his ears… he slowly started to enjoy them, by the end he was watching them (hands over ears)… on his terms.
S.
The ‘noise’ thing is a tricky one. I wonder why he’s only recently acquired it?
Mine are all horrendously noisy but also incredibly sensitive to other noise, it’s a real maze for me.
Everyone agrees that fireworks are bad news as you can’t tell in advance which ones are going to be the noisy / bang ones.
Noise canceling ear muffs for Christmas then?
Cheers
Maybe we could all put in a joint order and get a bulk discount?
Here’s another vote for hunting headphones. Mine are AWESOME.
Buy a pair of earmuffs for Charlie, and one for your neighbor, too, or if you are feeling really flush some sound cancelling earphones and an ipod. (A somewhat facetious and somewhat serious suggestion). That neighbor thing is tough, especially because, as you said, what child does not make noise? It comes with the territory.
So sorry that loud noises are troubling Charlie, but that request for the ferris wheel rocks.
A third vote for hunting headphones. I picked up a pair at Wal-Mart for a student who is extremely sensitive to noise after we got a new student who is extremely loud — they cost about 8 dollars and muffle about 30 dB.
When she first put them on, you could see her whole body relax.
both L and K have trouble with noises; problem is we never know which ones. last night we had a casual dinner party and when every one started to say grace L got very up set and said ” no, no” and left the room. But they have no problem with the tornado siren, which is one house away and is ear piercing to me. Nor do the constant trains, 1 block away, or fire trucks and EMS which are also one house over. So I can’t predict it. L is most bothered by it; we sit in the cry room at church partially because in there you can control the volume of the microphone pastor wears as well as the sound over the PA of the organ etc, that helps a lot.
Have to consider those ear muffs! (I don’t know about a pair for my neighbor…….he might take it the wrong way!) The human voice at high volume, and in a piercing tone, esp. aggravates Charlie.
He’s long had a sensitivity to background noises (like that boombox farmwifetwo noted). I’ve noted increases in behavior issues in school right before a break—-one reason (among the many) is that the other kids are more restless, excited and noisy, and Charlie hears that through the walls.
For what it’s worth, I’ve tried on the headphones I bought for M (they are in the sporting goods department) — they mostly muffle background noises. Wearing them, I could still hear voices perfectly well. The effect was very much like wearing noise-canceling headphones.
So, I don’t know that they would help Charlie with sensitivity to voices (although they may dampen them enough — they do seem to take some of M’s anxiety, even when the noises she’s anxious about is the other student being loud), but certainly things like boom-boxes, and perhaps even the noises of excited kids through the wall, would be blocked out.
I wonder, too, if you could put some white noise CDs onto Charlie’s iPod? If even music is bothering him currently (you mentioned he covered his ears in the car) that might help too.
Please keep posting on this subject — I’m always on the lookout for things that might help M, who must have superhuman hearing.
The noise-cancelling headphones sound interesting. For the neighbor? I’m not so sure. Maybe cordless headphones for his TV?
We went to a fourth of July party, and my son was very bothered by a noisy political discussion, but loved the fireworks. You never know what to expect! I’m going to try getting some of those headphones, because his ear-plugging has really increased.