Not Talking to Kids About Sex
April 19, 2009 by Aly Walansky
Filed under Relationships
This afternoon, I was reading the newspaper, and there was an article about parents talking to their kids about sex…which got me to thinking.
My parents NEVER talked to me about sex. Ever. My mom did, however, watch afternoon soaps with me from pretty much toddler-hood, and tell me constantly how eager she was to be a grandma.
Ultimately, I got my education from said soap operas, and later on, trashy romance novels – a reality based out of fantasy, with no basis in logistics.
I wonder, now, if that is the root of all my current problems? Of having nothing real, and clinging to the “maybes” and threads of hope that dating (or pseudo-dating) can offer? Would I have been “normal” if I had gotten the talk as a kid?
I can’t help but wonder.
Image: Sxc.hu
I get the feeling that you are comfortable with sex from the posts that you write, Aly. It’s unfortunate that you were not able to have that talk with your mom, but you probably were able to talk to friends, etc. Or you got that way on your own, however it happened, you sound good to me.
Dreaming about what could be, that’s just something that we women do. Dating, meeting someone, it’s so hard. Hold onto the maybes, they will become more concrete someday.
It’s interesting that you mention soaps as part of your education, because I can remember watching the Guiding Light and seeing a shirtless Phillip and thinking, holy cow, can’t wait until I get to sleep next to one of those.
I think quite a few of our generation never had “the talk.” When your mom was growing up, sex wasn’t something that was discussed in the open as it is now. Parents today are getting more of a push to talk openly with the kids. My parents didn’t mention it to me either.
For generations, mothers told girls to “close your eyes and think of England.” We’ve come a long way from that.
Sadly, I learned my first ideas about sex from abuse. It’s easy to ask “what if” about our childhood, but I think I turned out ok.
Look forward. When you become a mom, you’ll be better prepared to have an open parent-child conversation about sex.