Nursing Home Care for Alzheimer’s Patients

Why did I have good experiences with the nursing homes caring for my aunt, uncle, mother, and mother-in-law while many others only have complaints and downright scary experiences, such as those related in the current issue of Reader’s Digest ?

A friend commented that she was pleased my mom had been cared for so well in the nursing home.  She has a totally different story to tell about her mom.

Both my aunt and mother had Alzheimer’s and experienced lengthy stays in nursing homes.  My uncle was there for about a month after having cataract surgery.  My mother-in-law was losing her eye-sight and could no longer live alone.  So she resided in an assisted living home for several years.

I chose my mother’s nursing homes based on recommendations from friends whose family members had lived there.  (She resided in one for 6 month until it closed and then in the second for 8 1/2 years.)  A family member researched assisted living homes and chose my mother-in-law’s.  My uncle selected his when he needed care.  My aunt was assigned one because she was covered by Medicaid. 

A quote in the Reader’s Digest article, from Randy Thomas, president of the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse may explain this somewhat:  “The best advice I can give families is to be there – often.”

I did visit Mother and Auntie often and took active involvement in their care; a friend assumed responsibility for my uncle; my husband, his seven brothers and their families were always stopping in to see Mum.  We made friends with the nursing home administrators and staff, tried to learn all we could about their family members’ medical conditions and care.  And we didn’t have specific times for visiting.

I didn’t do this mainly to check on my relatives’ care.  I simply wanted to see them and by learning all I could, thought I could make their stays more pleasant. 

This is not to say other caregivers, whose family members have unpleasant nursing home experiences, don’t visit frequently.  But as I’ve tried to learn more about this topic of nursing home care, I’ve concluded, as Mr. Thomas has, that visiting frequently is part of the solution.