Nursing Home Insight

I wanted to get a little more serious with  you, for this post. I recently answered a comment about what to do with a difficult situation between a father with Alzheimer’s, and his caregiver daughter. This reminded me of my time working in a nursing home. Because I am a sturdy, 6 foot tall woman, I was delegated to the third floor: The Alzheimer’s patients and hip replacement floor.

Working with these patients was a lesson in remaining calm, not losing focus on the task at hand, and how to treat someone with dignity, who may not even be treating themselves that way.

I wanted to talk a little about why it is so important for me to keep my mother in law home with us. From my time in that nursing home ( a well to do place, with a full staff), I learned that what the visiting family did not see was of utmost importance. No matter how hard you worked to get your list of residents up and ready for the day, the ones who were expecting visitors got first priority and all the extra hands on care that they needed, to get ready for their outsider’s inspection.

Daily, there were moments that were *Not to be mentioned*, when the family was around. It was not that things were so horrific, it was just that the residents were not treated with any amount of dignity, unless someone’s eyes were on the staff. The excuse was that that State Regulations were so difficult to follow and there was a minimum time that everyone had to be up, fed, dressed and in their Gerry chairs. This number was mysteriously always higher than humanly possible, yet there seemed to be plenty of time to get both 15 minute breaks before lunch, and plenty of time for the employees to become friendly with one another.

I remember a poignent moment, when I was looking at a stamp collection that one of my assigned residents wanted me to see. He was laboriously trying to recall a tidbit about each page of stamps, and I was listening to him while perched on the side of his bed. The head nurse came into the room and blasted me for spending too much time with one person. I was not behind or lax in my duties, I was simply not following protocal, and acting as if I was caring for a person, and not a name to be ticked off of my list for the day.

That is the one thing which drove me out of that field of work. I wanted to be involved in my list of resident’s care on a deeper level. I wanted to care FOR them, not just take care OF them. I was by no means the only one who felt that way. The high turnover rate was more often due to a variation of the discouragement I felt.

I want my mother to be able to give me hell. It is an important (yet taxing) part of her care. Yes, there are times when I feel overwhelmed and angry. I also get frustrated on a daily basis. Although these feelings are not especially nice, I am reassured that they are well cushioned by the love I feel for her.

No one said that the most important jobs were going to be easy. Give yourselves a hug today. All the caregivers need to remind themselves of why they choose to do the work themselves. Thanks for listening!