Obama’s Mother in Law to Live in the White House
January 21, 2009 by Marye Audet
Filed under Relationships
So, I heard this today and did a little checking around and…sure enough…the Mom in Law is moving in with them “for now”.
The phrase sends chills down my spine.
She isn’t ill or anything; she has been a stabilizing force for the children during the campaign and election and in the flurry of moving everything from Chicago to DC. She has heard their prayers, read them storie, and given them baths. I can see that. Kids need familiarity and security. They need routine.
And granted the White House is one humongous domicile. With something like 35 bathrooms there should be no problems there.
I guess that the problem I see is that no matter how big the residence is the First Couple will lack privacy with mom there unless they are very different than most of us.
Seems to me that most people revert to childhood around their parents, taking on roles and character traits that may be unhealthy or just irritating to their spouse. Take almost any adult male and put him at Mom’s house and all of a sudden he is being reminded to change his underwear and being fed milk and cookies. And it isn’t just the guys. I watch my very mature 27 year old (ALMOST 27 year old) daughter turn into a teenager at our house, tickling and taunting siblings, holding them down and tormenting them in true sibling style and expecting to be somewhat pandered to . And she is 8 months pregnant with her third child.
Then there is the normal familial control issues over the grandkids. The possibility exists I suppose that Gramma is going to be a nanny-like person and raise the kids. But if that happens that is going to bring on some rather pointed criticism in itself.
I am not being critical, by the way, my mom lived with us for the last six months of her life. Noone knows better than I do how difficult living with a parent can be..and Marc can vouch for the in-law side of it, although she liked Marc much better than me there at the end of her life.
This is real concern because adjusting to everything they have to adjust to is going to be stressful at best. I am trying to imagine being the First Lady of the United States of America and having my mom giving me one of the “looks” when I held my fork wrong or my neckline was a little too low.
So, what do you think? Bad idea? Good idea?
image:sxc
Good points Marye! I am a teenager again around my mom.
LOL! it’s good sometimes, I suppose…
“Seems to me that most people revert to childhood around their parents, taking on roles and character traits that may be unhealthy or just irritating to their spouse. ”
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. In some ethnic cultures that have a strong hierarchy with respects to age, it [reverting to the subordinate roles of childhood, etc,.] applies to dominant [eldest] aunts, uncles et al, as much as it does to one’s mother.
I always dreaded the bi-yearly visit from the wife’s eldest aunt. One of the hallmarks of the months that she would stay with us was the odd way in which communications between myself and wife would take on this strained, muted form. It would seem to get worse as time went on. It was like I wasn’t even there…what little communication would take place would be short, emotionless…very odd.
I realized after a couple of times of this, that it wasn’t my imagination. It was like observing the behaviours of various members of a honey-bee colony and how you could predict how a bee of a given rank, would behave and respond around bees of different ranks, etc.
It wasn’t just with me. I noticed that whenever a ranking member of the matriarchy [ funny, didn't seem to apply to males, regardless of social status, class ] would be having an extended visit, living with, etc., their daughters, granddaughters…that [mother-daughter/granddaughter] would become the primary relationship in just about every case.
They themselves would not notice anything askance at all. Those from outside the particular culture but who lived in intimate proximity of it would notice, though it would take some time to be able to put their finger on what they were observing.
Scary. Very scary.
mmmm…so who will be running the country, hmmm?
“mmmm…so who will be running the country, hmmm?”
Are you meaning my comment? Nahh…its nothing to do with running extra-familial institutions – sovereign States, corporations, any of that – its purely in the domestic sense, I was meaning.
How nice though to have another caretaker around. Someone who’s part of the extended family. The First Lady was quoted somewhere saying that now when she needs to travel or be out late she can relax knowing that Grandma is there.
Who knows, maybe she lived with them in Chicago – or nearby? And. . . besides, who would most moms rather have nearby – her own mother? Or His mother?
Eileen, having had my mom live with us I can tell you….neither. :/
I can see the benefits for sure, as far as ease of parenting etc. But there is something about the control issues that happen with two adult women in the house that are not good.
I don’t see a problem with it, then again maybe it because my mother in law lives with me and hubby. Everyone is different and with President and First Lady schedule, I think it is a great idea. Most likely the mom with be far away but as close as neccessary.
I also think it is wonderful for the children.
I think its a good idea because Obama’s children are young and he and the first lady are away on trips.
Tony