Of bedspreads and beaches

I haven’t said much about my dad lately, because, there is blessedly little to write about him, at the moment.

Since the holidays, he has gotten back in his routine, and, is involved with school (he’s a teacher). His back is doing well, as far as I know. But, then again, if it wasn’t OK, I’m not sure I’d know about it until he was paralyzed or in the Emergency Room or something.

So, we’re really just now figuring out how life is going to work without my mother, since the surgery and the holidays were different from the everyday schedule. The best part about establishing our routine since my mother died is that he’s able to come to my kids’ sports games. For the past few years, he hadn’t been able to do that because my mother couldn’t be left alone. He’s a big sports fan, and, the kids have enjoyed having him there.

He’s adjusting to the domestic routine well. However, during this journey, some of the truths of my childhood have been upended.

For reasons unclear to me, they had a lovely high-end dishwasher that they never used. My mother said they thought it wasn’t worth running since there were only 2 of them making dirty dishes. Not only did she do dishes by hand, but, if you set a glass or something down for more than a few seconds, she had washed that, too. But, the inside of the dishwasher never saw the light of day.

A couple of weeks ago, my father said, “Is there any reason I can’t use the dishwasher?” I told him I thought they thought it was wasteful. It hadn’t been used for so long, the belts had rotted. So, he got it fixed, and, after a brief hiatus where I )forgot to tell him that dish washing liquid and the dishwasher stuff weren’t the same thing (tiiiiiiny bubbles….), now he uses it every Friday. Laundry day is Saturday so he doesn’t have to do all his housework on the same day. He cracks me up, he can’t talk on the phone when the dryer is going so he can be ready to get the shirts out before they wrinkle.

I can’t remember if I told you or not, but, he also bought himself new sheets and a blue bedspread. The blue is significant because I grew up in the most neutral-colored household ever. When I would ask why we only had white sheets and towels, or wanted to paint my room, my mother always said that we had to have beige and white because my father wouldn’t allow anything else.

I was curious when he started shopping for the blue, and, he said, “Well, your mother never wanted any color anywhere. I tried to do something about it, but, she just never wanted to get anything like that.” Now, he’s getting new blue stuff for the guest bathroom, too.

He also wants to go back to the beach this summer. Since we have had kids, we’ve traveled with them on summer vacation to the beach. Part of the routine, since my parents are/were big on eating out, is that we had to get up early and go out to breakfast, and, come in from the beach in the late afternoon in time to get to the Early Bird Specials for dinner because that’s what my father wanted to do.

When I was talking to him about making plans for this summer, he adds, “I don’t care anything about eating out all the time, and, it’s silly to have to come in from the beach so early everyday, that’s just what your mother liked to do.”

Now, you have to understand the neutral colors and the going out to eat routines have been as predictable as the sun rising each day for me. Despite the fact that it now looks like my parents had a communication problem this is a whole new reality for me.

Anyway, I guess it just means we all have to get used to something different, and, so far, so good.