Often A Lifesaver

There is a particular writing in our literature that is of life-saving importance to me because it reminds me that the God I understand loves me in spite of me. It’s today’s Daily Reflection;

“Occasionally…. We are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray. When these things happen we should not think too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us.”

From my experience, these moments truly are sickening. Yet knowing they are sickening and then extracting myself from them are two separate stories.

The negative thinking and anger are soooo familiar. I wore them like a safety blanket for a very long time. Stepping out into a faith and trust in a Higher Power who hadn’t seemed to be there for me for such a long time is very difficult.

For a very long time I wasn’t the person my God wanted me to be. AA changed that but those I hurt have never gotten past it. When I found news about one of my children that could have been offered to me (I don’t live a secret life in the real world) it hurt and sent me into a tailspin away from my God.

It’s been a challenge turning back to Him. This quote from our literature helps immensely.