Online Daters, Avoid These Mistakes
October 4, 2009 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
You’ve got an online dating profile up. You feel like you’ve presented yourself fairly well, but are confused by a lack of responses. You could be committing one of these “online dating sins” as described in The Globe and Mail, by Dakshana Bascaramurty…
Only one in three of the first messages sent by members of dating site OKCupid.com ever get a response (sorry guys, the rate is only 27 per cent for you).
According to dating experts, this is because people don’t realize that the same rules of engagement apply on the Internet. The team at OKCupid recently pored over 500,000 first messages sent by the site’s members and tracked response rates. If you’re striking out, it may be because you’re committing one of these sins.
The sins are as follows….
* Your first response focuses too much on how attractive you find a person’s photo. Instead of calling someone “sexy” or “beautiful,” mention how “cool” you find it that you share their interest in hiking. Comments that are “personality-based” are shown to get a much higher response rate.
* Using “netspeak.” Communicate using full words, not any sort of chat-type shorthand. Make sure that your message is clear and free from typos or spelling errors. without knowing you personally, a lot of weight is put on your message and if you look careless in one area, it will be assumed that you are careless in others, as well.
* Your opening title simply says “hello.” Responses such as “how’s it going” or “what’s up” get higher responses because they are written as a question, an invitation. Give someone an opening and they will feel much more comfortable contacting you.
Image credit: Michelle Smith















Thanks for the tips. I have to admit I am guilty of number one. Does online dating still have that stigma attached to it, where people don’t feel comfortable revealing they they met the person they are dating online?
I wouldn’t have a problem admitting it at all. It’s just another way to meet people. I know two people who have married people that they met online in the last year.