Ostracized? I Don’t Think So!
March 6, 2009 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
I walked into a sandwich shop for lunch today and ran into a young man who had been coming to meetings at my home group for a short while a couple of months ago. He’d been “out” before after a few weeks but had stayed dry this time for a couple of months. I hadn’t seen him recently.
Ordered my sandwich and soda and had a seat with him. It’s funny but I know he didn’t like me when we initially met but we’d grown on each other. We made small talk briefly then I asked him where he’d been going to meetings.
He isn’t. He went out again and now meetings are a source of mental irritation for him. Additionally, someone who he had hooked up with who has considerable time and was helping him had now turned on him, refusing to be his friend anymore. (Granted, one side of the story.)
The point is – do we now shun those who drink after becoming friends with another human being?
Since I’ve been gleaning from Mel B. lately, this is what Mel has to say on the subject;
ALMOST every drinking problem is also a human-relations problem. Some alcoholics, it’s true, have the gift of amiability. Drunk or sober, they have few enemies or strained relationships.
Most of us, however, don’t have it so good. Drunk or sober, we rub some people the wrong way. We also come into the orbit of people who antagonize us. What can we do about it? Does the AA program offer a workable way of dealing with these human-relations problems?
“The program contains an implied answer, even if it doesn’t supply one directly. The answer is: Handle any human-relations problem by creating the right attitude towards the people involved; take personal responsibility for seeing that the antagonism is cleared up, at least from your side of the fence. This method is essentially what is conveyed in AA’s Eighth and Ninth Steps, although sometimes we lose sight of our reasons for carrying out these suggestions.”
I believe ostracizing a fellow because they drank is truly arrogant. Not a “quality” I wish to have as much of anymore and exactly what could keep someone away from recovery, perhaps until they die. Wrong to the Nth degree!
