Other People’s Children
June 4, 2007 by Tracee Sioux
Filed under Parenting
A friend recently told me she thinks she’s ready to have kids because when all her pregnant or mother friends endlessly blabber on about the minute details of discharge or tantrums she’s actually not annoyed.
I told her that the reason I know that I am absolutely finished having children is because I am over being interested and back to being annoyed.
I’m a pretty good volunteer, I do my public service. I focus on my strengths, I enjoy teenagers, especially the “bad” ones, so I volunteer as a mentor and for a teen outreach in the community. I run a book club to give women a place to go hang out with adult conversation. I occasionally clean my mother-in-laws floors, I take my non-driving grandmother grocery shopping or to the pharmacy, I invite my daughter’s best friend over so her mom can go to the doctor. I figure I’m good on the service front.
Today this woman informed me I had to sign up to teach my child’s Sunday school class. When I told her I don’t really like young children and would prefer not to do it she looked at me like I should probably be struck by lightening. I got the same look when I told them I didn’t want to volunteer for vacation bible school.
I understand their logic – everyone needs to pitch in and they need teachers.
But, here’s my logic – I’m sending my daughter to vacation bible school so I can get some work done. I’m going to my own Sunday school class so I can talk to grown ups. I spend all day, all week, all month with my kids – it’s these church services that give me a break from my kids. Signing up to multiply the children I’m responsible for by ten or a hundred is enough to make me want to run screaming.
I like some children. I adore my own and think they are the most interesting people ever created. I don’t mind being around children that are not total misbehaving brats. But, too often my friends even are raising total brats that never have a consequence or rule and I don’t find it the least bit cute. I even have a few friends I think twice before calling because they won’t enforce any type of discipline – no time outs, no spanking, no bed time, nothing – and frankly I’m sick of the whining, crying battle. That’s not fun for me.
Just because my children participate in the children’s ministries – does that obligate me to volunteer there? What do you all think?
There are other ways to help that don’t involve actually teaching kids. Maybe you could offer to bring a snack one day, or something? Or donate some art supplies to the Sunday School class?
I agree that teaching young children is not for everyone, parent or no. I understand being short-handed, but do they really think they’ll get good, willing teachers by bullying and guilting people into volunteering?
Thank you Susanna,
I mean I volunteer with their teenagers every Wed. night even though my oldest is 5. I’m so grateful for the people who love teaching children. I am just not one of them. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it.
I’m totally going to end up doing it. I think they are looking for warm bodies. Period. Summer, vacations, etc.
I think they ought to combine all the ages over the summer, then they won’t need so many teachers. Right?
Tracee
I sympathize. I ran my church nursery for two years. But don’t feel bad. An hour in your Sunday School class or a week in your Vacation Bible School can’t make up for formative years without loving discipline. Maybe combining the ages would help some children to see reality.
Thanks for the sympathy Michael, I am really going to the Pastor and recommending two Sunday school classes for the kids during the summer. It seems absurd to have one or two kids in each class and then harass the parents to babysit them. We might as well not get up for Sunday school if we’re just sitting their with our own kids.
But, you are right Susanna, I can volunteer to do something. I will donate the tithes from the sell of my Olds for VBS supplies. Good thinking.
Tracee