Comments on: Overparenting and Being the Mother of a Disabled Child http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:56:25 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Storkdok http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-563653 Storkdok Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:32:17 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-563653 Tamar, the link on your name works! Tamar, the link on your name works!

]]> By: Storkdok http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-563652 Storkdok Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:31:14 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-563652 Tamar, the link doesn't work. Could you check it? Tamar, the link doesn’t work. Could you check it?

]]> By: Tamar Chansky http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-562626 Tamar Chansky Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:13:53 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-562626 I need to chime in here to clarify for myself anyway, the definition of overparenting. I think that overparenting means doing for your child what your child can do for him or herself. It means doing things because of your anxiety and your goals for your child which may not really be in the best interest of your child. In other words, it's not a one-size fits all phenomenon. If you have a child with autism or an anxiety disorder, the way you parent is going to have to be different to meet your child where he or she is. I know it is a fine line, but I fear that parents are being put on the defensive at times when they are legitimately responding to their children's needs. I write about these subjects in my books. The most recent, Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking helps parents to promote resilience and teach children how to work through their own thoughts and feelings about disappointments and persevere to their goals. If you'd like to check out an excerpt, please go to www.freeingyourchild.com. Thanks for this important post. All best, Tamar Chansky I need to chime in here to clarify for myself anyway, the definition of overparenting. I think that overparenting means doing for your child what your child can do for him or herself. It means doing things because of your anxiety and your goals for your child which may not really be in the best interest of your child. In other words, it’s not a one-size fits all phenomenon. If you have a child with autism or an anxiety disorder, the way you parent is going to have to be different to meet your child where he or she is. I know it is a fine line, but I fear that parents are being put on the defensive at times when they are legitimately responding to their children’s needs. I write about these subjects in my books. The most recent, Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking helps parents to promote resilience and teach children how to work through their own thoughts and feelings about disappointments and persevere to their goals. If you’d like to check out an excerpt, please go to http://www.freeingyourchild.com.

Thanks for this important post.
All best,
Tamar Chansky

]]> By: Regan http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-559411 Regan Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:51:57 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-559411 <i>parenting feels like a dance</i> Very true. Depending on circumstance, a tango or tap dancing! Hope you trip the light fantastic today :-). parenting feels like a dance
Very true. Depending on circumstance, a tango or tap dancing!

Hope you trip the light fantastic today :-) .

]]> By: Fearless Females http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-564027 Fearless Females Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:33:25 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-564027 I liked that analogy, very poetic and true. You should frame it!! I liked that analogy, very poetic and true. You should frame it!!

]]> By: Kristina Chew, PhD http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-563332 Kristina Chew, PhD Thu, 13 Nov 2008 23:43:10 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-563332 Sometimes parenting feels like a dance, perhaps, in which I'm always trying to figure out the proper proportions of hanging on, lifting up, and letting go. Sometimes parenting feels like a dance, perhaps, in which I’m always trying to figure out the proper proportions of hanging on, lifting up, and letting go.

]]> By: Rose http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-563420 Rose Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:15:12 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-563420 Regan said: >>but as long as Eleanor is coming to me of her own accord, and not running from me, that’s one metric I use to tell me that I’m getting the balance right at some level and is the one that matters the most.<< Boy, I hear that! Regan said:

>>but as long as Eleanor is coming to me of her own accord, and not running from me, that’s one metric I use to tell me that I’m getting the balance right at some level and is the one that matters the most.<<

Boy, I hear that!

]]> By: Regan http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-558108 Regan Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:38:21 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-558108 We each walk in our own mocassins. I've known some helicopter parents, and in fact, some of them have been fairly close acquaintances--my observation is that it can be annoying, but that for the kids seem to turn out all right, for the most part they have warm relationships with their parents, and quite a few of them did enter the Ivy League, so I guess that it turned out okay from their perspective. I have some hoverer tendencies for sure, but as long as Eleanor is coming to me of her own accord, and not running from me, that's one metric I use to tell me that I'm getting the balance right at some level and is the one that matters the most. Even if things look "odd" to outsiders, well, as long as no one is being hurt, it is what it is and I have to figure that that is their issue of perception and not ours. I can take it under counsel as something to possibly teach or talk about, because we live in a society, but I accept that we will be out there and even be "odd". I am glad that the water is such a pleasure to Charlie. We each walk in our own mocassins.

I’ve known some helicopter parents, and in fact, some of them have been fairly close acquaintances–my observation is that it can be annoying, but that for the kids seem to turn out all right, for the most part they have warm relationships with their parents, and quite a few of them did enter the Ivy League, so I guess that it turned out okay from their perspective.

I have some hoverer tendencies for sure, but as long as Eleanor is coming to me of her own accord, and not running from me, that’s one metric I use to tell me that I’m getting the balance right at some level and is the one that matters the most. Even if things look “odd” to outsiders, well, as long as no one is being hurt, it is what it is and I have to figure that that is their issue of perception and not ours. I can take it under counsel as something to possibly teach or talk about, because we live in a society, but I accept that we will be out there and even be “odd”.

I am glad that the water is such a pleasure to Charlie.

]]> By: Mrs. C http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-563390 Mrs. C Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:52:56 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-563390 Blogged with a link. Thanks for this post. I really identify. http://homeschoolnetc.blogspot.com/2008/11/do-you-overparent.html Blogged with a link. Thanks for this post. I really identify.

http://homeschoolnetc.blogspot.com/2008/11/do-you-overparent.html

]]> By: Fearless Females http://www.blisstree.com/articles/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/comment-page-1/#comment-563377 Fearless Females Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:32:42 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/overparenting-and-being-the-mother-of-a-disabled-child/#comment-563377 Isn't it true that our generation of parenting is all about "overparenting?" And the next generation isn't going to be so inclined. And every parent of an autistic child needs to overparent--it's the nature of the issue (s). Isn’t it true that our generation of parenting is all about “overparenting?” And the next generation isn’t going to be so inclined.

And every parent of an autistic child needs to overparent–it’s the nature of the issue (s).

]]>