Comments on: Pants Me http://www.blisstree.com/articles/pants-me-325/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Fri, 25 Dec 2009 10:02:22 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: RL http://www.blisstree.com/articles/pants-me-325/comment-page-1/#comment-114793 RL Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:42:04 +0000 http://www.breakingthemirror.com/?p=577#comment-114793 Claire, You wrote... "I’m scared that the most I have to look forward to is not recovery, but just abstinence (not restricting or purging, eating my meal plan) but hating myself and the way I look." You put that so well...it terrifies me too. Claire,
You wrote…
“I’m scared that the most I have to look forward to is not recovery, but just abstinence (not restricting or purging, eating my meal plan) but hating myself and the way I look.”

You put that so well…it terrifies me too.

]]> By: Claire http://www.blisstree.com/articles/pants-me-325/comment-page-1/#comment-114670 Claire Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:50:29 +0000 http://www.breakingthemirror.com/?p=577#comment-114670 I always get worried when I see these posts (for a selfish reason), because I think "If Angelique is in recovery and she hates her body so much, then maybe there is no point in me trying recovery because I will hate my body forever." It's not just you...it's people on other blogs too who are in recovery, but still struggle a lot. It must be really hard, even if you know objectively you can't have gained 20 lbs overnight, to feel that way when you look in the mirror. Sometimes I think I want to try to recover and other times my ed seems like a really safe place to be - after all it's been there for ten years now. I'm scared that the most I have to look forward to is not recovery, but just abstinence (not restricting or purging, eating my meal plan) but hating myself and the way I look. So I tell myself, "Just get as skinny as possible! Then you can try recovery and it'll be much easier since you won't think you're fat!" I seem to delude myself into thinking that once I get small enough, my ED thoughts will be much better and I'll be able to eat healthy and not get on the scale 20 times a day. But I know that's wrong. Haha sorry, this comment got really off topic! I'm sorry you feel fat, and I definitely know the way you feel! I always get worried when I see these posts (for a selfish reason), because I think “If Angelique is in recovery and she hates her body so much, then maybe there is no point in me trying recovery because I will hate my body forever.” It’s not just you…it’s people on other blogs too who are in recovery, but still struggle a lot. It must be really hard, even if you know objectively you can’t have gained 20 lbs overnight, to feel that way when you look in the mirror.
Sometimes I think I want to try to recover and other times my ed seems like a really safe place to be – after all it’s been there for ten years now. I’m scared that the most I have to look forward to is not recovery, but just abstinence (not restricting or purging, eating my meal plan) but hating myself and the way I look. So I tell myself, “Just get as skinny as possible! Then you can try recovery and it’ll be much easier since you won’t think you’re fat!”
I seem to delude myself into thinking that once I get small enough, my ED thoughts will be much better and I’ll be able to eat healthy and not get on the scale 20 times a day. But I know that’s wrong.
Haha sorry, this comment got really off topic! I’m sorry you feel fat, and I definitely know the way you feel!

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