Parenting More Than Our Children

Througout our lifetime, we often end up caring for, or “parenting,” more than our children. I became the caretaker for my mom and my aunt.  I helped care for my dad and my uncle.  I assisted with my mother-in-law.

We don’t think, when we’re raising our children that we may become caregivers for those who once cared for us.  We don’t make plans for this and it often hits unawares.

Auntie became my responsibility after my mom could no longer care for her.  She lived with my parents for more than a year when another relative couldn’t cope with Auntie’s Alzheimer’s forgetfulness and wandering.  Then Father died and Mother’s Alzheimer’s became more pronounced.

Because Auntie was a widow with no children, she became my responsibility.  I suppose I could have ignored the situation, but somehow it was something I couldn’t do.  During most of the time she was my responsibility, she was in a nursing home, so I didn’t have the “hands on” care I did with Mother.  But making decisions when she was ill or in the hospital, keeping in touch with nurses (I lived 275 miles away), and visiting whenever I could did become my role.

I cared for Mother in her home, in our home, and was responsible for overseeing her care in a nursing home for 8 years.  During this time I was helping my children with grandchildren.

However, all of them, no matter what age or generation, brought rewards to my life midst any frustrations.  Realizing that parenting encompasses more than caring for children will help you as you assume parent and elder relative care.