Parents! Don’t ignore the not-so-obvious warning signs of eating disorders
April 26, 2008 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
How many times can I tell parents to be on the lookout for signs of eating disorders in their children, even those who seem “too young” to be worried about such a thing as having the “perfect” body?
If you’re a mom, dad, grandparents or guardian, it’s time to open your eyes and watch out for the following signs that may not seem at first glance like indicators of disordered eating:
1. If your outgoing child suddenly withdraws, this is a huge red flag. Don’t assume it’s “a phase”. It could be depression… and many people with EDs also suffer from depression. If you get to the root of the mental illness, you may head an ED off at the pass.
2. If your child starts talking about “fat”, “weight”, “thinness”, et cetera, it’s time to have a serious discussion about bodies. And don’t agree with your child, for heaven’s sake. Even if he or she needs to lose a few pounds, it’s downright cruel to taunt your son or daughter or make him or her feel as if weight equals worth.
3. If you notice large amounts of food “disappearing”, but your child is the same weight or smaller, he or she may be bingeing and purging. It’s time to investigate, though it might just be a “growth spurt” and not anything untoward.
4. If your child refuses to eat in your presence, don’t assume he or she is eating at all. “I had something after school with the girls” or “We ate so much at McDonald’s before we came home” could be lies.
5. If your child’s teeth begin to decay rapidly for no obvious reason, he or she may be bingeing and purging. Remember — a dentist could be your best friend in the long run and could save your son or daughter’s life.
I invite those who have had eating disorders (or who have known others with eating disorders) to share warning signs in the comments section. Let’s not approach EDs with an “eyes wide shut” attitude.
I started out binge eating when I was in middle school. Now I’m bulimic. Of the 5 warning flags you mentioned…I had the first FOUR. The tooth decay wasn’t a problem until I started purging in college at which point it was easy for me to attribute that to “all the soda!”
A few other warning signs:
1. Large amounts of food missing & weight gain
2. Finding junk food wrappers in book bags and under mattresses
And then something else I’d like to add. I am the only picky eater in our family. I am also the only one who is overweight. Technically, I’ll never know what my “natural” weight would be like if I hadn’t started binging (and later purging). That’s what’s so sad about it all…that not only did I make things worse for myself emotionally, but I also caused the weight gain when it was the one thing I wanted to avoid.
This isn’t really a warning sign but just a warning. Setting up rules about food with kids (especially picky eaters) is disastrous. Labeling food good & bad not the best idea in the world. Rewarding kids with dessert for eating a bite of spaghetti is just not good parenting. Personally, I don’t know where to draw the line because forcing the kid to eat something (or try something) they don’t like is torture. But letting them only eat cereal & cookies is really bad for their health. And another big no no: Comparing body shapes between sisters (and parents!) Both my mother and sister were thin! Like my sister used to eat her packed lunch for breakfast (and mine for lunch because I wouldn’t eat it.) She didn’t gain a single pound. I was in first or second grade when I started noticing the differences in our bodies. And hearing about it from our parents…
Erin:
This is awesome advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it all out. I’m really hoping some parents see this and think twice about what’s happening with their kids.