Parents & Kids: Relationships as Adults

I guess you’re not really called “kids” anymore when you’re past the age of 18 and you have all moved on to pursue your independent lives.  But face it…your parents will always think of you as a kid.  They will never give up raising you and wanting you to achieve your best, and supporting you whenever you fall to the bottom.  Even though there is love coming from both sides, there is oftentimes tension between parents and their children when there are interactions in adulthood.

The problem in relationships between adults and their adult children is that through their own life experiences the children grow to see their parents as imperfect adults.  As they mature and change as they move through the different stages of growing up they no longer need the guidance and direction that their parents provided them.  Tensions can grow as both the parents and children become older,  more stuck in their ways, and unwilling to adapt to their new relationship.

All of this sounds pretty difficult, but really my point is that we should just accept that this situation between adult parents and children exists and move forward.  Accept that you are no longer parent and child, but both adults.  You can enjoy similar activities and speak on the same level.  You can enjoy each other’s company without worrying about long held disputes and constant judgments.  Truly try to let go of the past relationship that you had, and start a new one where you are both equals and friends. Continue to treat your parents with the respect that they deserve and offer them assistance when it is needed, but interact with them on a loving and friendly level.

I offer this advice because I know that parents grow old and the times that we can spend with them now should be treasured.  We all grow old fast, so it’s important to enjoy each other’s company while we can.  For those of you with super complicated parent-child relationships, these musings are not for you.  Instead this is for those of you who can just feel that bit of stress and tension surrounding time spent with your parents.  If you feel that in the slightest, these are some things to just keep in mind to help you find peace.

Image: sxc.hu