Parents should not be on Facebook?
May 31, 2009 by Christine Gooding
Filed under Parenting
My daughter just turned 12 years old. She’s not into the social networking thing at the moment with us not allowing her to join Facebook or Bebo yet. She has one social networking account with Multiply but her only friends there are our immediate family. I hope by the time she’s enough to join Facebook, Bebo or MySpace, she won’t sign up on a petition to ban friends from Facebook OR not approve my friend request! LOL
Image: MrsGooding
Washington Post reports
Across the country, Facebook users are contemplating similar questions when they log onto their accounts. More and more moms and dads are signing onto Facebook to keep up with their offspring. Not only are they friending (or attempting to friend) their sons and daughters, they’re friending their sons’ and daughters’ friends.
Some, like Matt, take the requests in stride. He ultimately friended his dad. Others are less sanguine, voicing their dismay via online groups that decry parental intrusion and offer tips on how to screen out mom and dad. (”Just go onto their computers and delete their accounts.” “Just don’t add them as a friend or any1 that is a co-worker with ur parents duh.”) Even parenting experts are getting involved, offering their own tips on proper Facebook etiquette.
But as Facebook’s popularity soared, its founders sought to expand its audience. In 2005, it allowed high school students to sign on. But it was the 2006 decision to open it up to the general public that drew howls from its original audience — and opened the door for the parental invasion.
In protest, several “abolish parent” groups have sprung up on the site.
Yeamans and a few of his friends started “What Happens in College Stays in College: Keep Parents Off Facebook!” in 2007. They meant it partly as a joke but were stunned when more than 500 people signed on, each with a tale of parental intrusion.
I can definitely understand where a lot of the youth are coming from — having parents on Facebook (or whatever social networking site) definitely feels weird. It’s much like having your parents hang out with you at a party — it’s just not something you really want to have happen.
Even if the kid doesn’t necessarily have anything to hide from his or her parents (some do), it can still feel weird. The way we act around friends is way different from the way we act around our parents, and when the two meet each other, it becomes a bit awkward.
Though I definitely understand how the parents feel. They have every right to use the site as well, and I don’t think it’s right for their children to delete their accounts or advocate removing adults from Facebook. If it’s that much of a problem, just talk to your parents about it.
I was on FB before my kids. I am not there to check up on them but to interact with my friends, all of which is now open to my teenagers. Should I resent their intrusion into my domain? I do not seek out their friends but have accepted friend requests from them. We conduct our FB lives in the same way we conduct our real lives. We hang out when we want to, have conversations, chat, post each other links. We like each other.
Also it doesn’t hurt to have a tacit moderating influence on each other. The internet is an immensley public arena. Often more is shared online than is prudent. If your kids or parents might see what you post (then so might prospective employers or clients) you self edit and thats not a bad thing.