Comments on: Parents Watching Kids?

By: Tracee Sioux

Tracee Sioux — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:05:38 +0000

How frightening Manda

By: manda

manda — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:48:09 +0000

i just had another heart stooping moment with my son who i was sure i was going to lose this time.the first was melbourne cup day where he was inside with me having a snooze(i snoozed alittle heavier after i was so sure he wouldnt get up).he got up unbeknownst to nme and went out the vback door with my dog,through a small gap in the picket fence and took off!! i woke up,no little 3yr old boy,looked through the house calling,calling,then out the back then saw the gap through the fence and my heart stopped…i was searching for him everywhere i could think of,by this stage im screaming his name which alerted the neighbours who then saw me collapse on the ground hysterical…scary scary scary…coz i couldnt hear him,couldnt see him,he wasnt answering me..god…THEn he walks out from behind a vacated house..with the dog,,thankgod..and yeah,i pretty much cried n cried…
Today however,we were all out the back singing and partying,the front door was locked and so we thought.all the kids were watching a movie we got them..i hear little kids voices out the front and told my friend..go and have a look! how on earth did they get through the locked front door??? my other girlfriend who had arrived,didnt lock the front door so my little boy and my best mates little boy took off out and were nowhere to be seen! again…again im thinking…so surreal.i called called called and was getting really panicky but felt surreal…its exhausting just to type this..its almost like i had a feelin we could find them(we did after what felt like eons but only 8 mins tops) but the other half of me was like it was gonna take awhile for me to find them so be cool and in the second breath i was just not believiong like i was going to search and search and acream and acream and not quit till i found them no matter what the cost..i dont know i dont know but this is twice that my little boy has done this..im so tired,just saying it just makes me feel like i couldve collapsed on the floor,still scream his name and have no energy left to get up and hunt but still feel he would appear…god im tired…the full impact will hit me tomorrow,,i still cant believe what happened…so surreal,too scary and i never in a million thought this would happen to me..

By: that girl

that girl — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:54:13 +0000

The other night I watched a show about the life of Dave and JaJa Martin. They’ve raised 3 kids on a 25 ft boat while sailing the world..literally, their children have seen the world. They spoke about having to endlessly defend their life choices to their peers (aka other parents) but have been patted on the back by older people. It was very, very good and a perfect example of all this unecessary judging.

By: Tracee Sioux

Tracee Sioux — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:27:42 +0000

I know exactly what you mean Dawn! I’ve been motherjudged for letting my 2 year old climb playground equipment – hello, it’s DESIGNED for children! What if he breaks his arm? Well, then we go to the doctor and he wears a cast. Worth it for all the fun of playing at the playground.

I’ve also been motherjudged for letting my child play at her friend’s house though I’ve not hired a private investigator. I’ve gone over there and corrected neighbor children for FatBitch name calling and then let her go play there the next day. Been motherjudged for that. They talked about sex and spoke to their parents and I let her go back.

Why?

She’s learning to navigate the world and problem solve and take care of herself.

A prison of our own making is still a prison.

I tend to think of these hovermothers as burdened with constant fear and then I feel sympathy for that condition. Also I try to think of them with the burden of overachieving and attempting to reach an ideal of parenting perfection and motivated by an overwhelming fear of being motherjudged.

Their biggest fear is to be judged by the other Mommies as not being the Perfect Mother. I try not to engage them, but when they engage me (and you’re right it’s odd how freely they feel they can and should engage me for letting my kids do stuff) I usually make a “politely snide” comment about not living in a bubble and childhood supposed to be fun.

They might make a comment about how capable my 2 year old can climb equipment and I’ll say, “All kids can do that if you let them.”

By: Dawn Glover

Dawn Glover — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:00:31 +0000

I have felt for years that most people parent in a different way than I do. I love for my children to have “normal” childhood experiences and parent that way. However, I have often been on the defensive with other mothers comments that are absolutely insulting and questioning my ability to take care of my own children properly. I have 3 wonderful girls that even these fear mongering women compliment. What is frustrating to me is that I don’t agree with their “hovering” methods, but am not rude enough to make comments to them on how the results may not be desirable. These women seem to me to be very unhappy and controlling and the kids are often delayed. How do we deal with this kind of ignorance. Why is it that us parents that let our kids live normally are treated this way

By: Violet

Violet — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:49:13 +0000

I don’t think you should let your 4-year-old out to build fires and shoot guns (LOL), because that is too little. But every year you should let them stretch their wings a little more.

I won’t watch abduction stories anymore, unless they are local. And getting rid of the cable news channels made my whole world feel happier and safer.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:08:58 +0000

Hi Lenora! Wow – you’re brave. I don’t think what you did was necessarily extremely dangerous – just courageous from a mom’s point of view.

Even if some people disagree with your decision and philosophy at least you are trying to think outside the box as a parent and really examining your decisions instead of going with the herd for appearances’ sake. That’s awesome.

By: Tracee

Tracee — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:04:27 +0000

Welcome Lenora – the mother of the free range movement by allowing her son some indepedence and the opportunity to stretch himself by trying something vaguely risky.

I’m afraid you may have missed her comment because it’s smooshed into the side bar (I’ve emailed support about this issue).

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:51:11 +0000

Maybe we’ll feel different at about 6 or 7? I don’t know. I do think tv and dramatic novels have played a huge part in my fears..

By: Tarah

Tarah — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:46:39 +0000

Believe me ..my kids are not attached to my butt(lol). Those lifetime movies are something, ..aren’t they? lol
If we go to the park no I do not follow them around from one thing to the other..yes I will sit and watch them play though. NO I would never just drop them off at a park.
Maybe I’m taking hovering the wrong way..I know some parents probably do freak their kids out with worry for no reason.
But the subway thing? no way..My youngest is 4 and I figure why not sit out with him?