Perspective and Age

Bailey, 17,  just came home from a sleepover. She spent the night with a teenage friend who is young mother with a 6-week-old baby. As she came in the door she said, “I’m exhausted and I’m never having kids.” 

I said, “Well, I do hope that you wait, but they don’t cry forever.” And, if you are a parent, you know that they don’t, although they do develop even more challenging behaviors so that at a certain point (the teenage years, for instance), you look back on memories of a crying infant and think of them as The Good Ol’ Days.

Another young girl I know, also a teen, but this time a little older at 19, she wrote a comment at Facebook about how people are confused and that commitment doesn’t require marriage. I understand her point, she’s been witness to some pretty funky martial relationships, but……

These girls are so young. Why are they so negative in their viewpoints?  Where does that come from?  Am I clueless if I feel that when I make a lifetime commitment to someone it includes marriage?  If she attends my wedding, is she going to be sitting there shaking her head in disgust at my foolishness?  If I have another baby at my age, will Bay consider leaving home because she can’t handle the inevitable crying? Will I be the final nail in the no-kids-ever coffin? 

Was I so set in my opinions, so sure that I had all the answers at that age?  Probably. I think that as we age, as we gain more knowledge, more life experience, we actually realize we don’t have all the answers and I sure as hell am not giving up my hope.

There are no guarantees and there are many opportunities for hurt, mayhem, and tragedy, but if I’m really committing then I’m going into that commitment with nothing holding me back. I am all in.

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography