Picnic Day

Sometimes Jill says she’s the worst mother in the world. Other times she simply says she’s the worst mother in the world for an autistic child.

She yells. Her Times is splayed all over the dining room table, and that probably does nothing to maintain Alex’s sense of order. Yes, Jill may be right, but only at terribly rare moments. Her average as an outstanding parent in both categories is at least as good as mine, and in fact a lot better. She’s the one who picks them up from the bus, sits through Ned’s trumpet lessons and signed him up for youth soccer, and she’s the one remembering to get only the strawberry yogurt, the Hebrew National hot dogs, and the Utz Extra Dark Pretzels for Alex.

She has a number of greatest hits as a mom:

Alex’s toilet training: One day long ago Jill just said to herself, “It’s time!” Maybe Alex had tried to weedle another diaper out of her, maybe she just looked at him there getting taller in the living room and figured she was going to take a shot. And she did. She sat him down and in the course of about 48 hours, at most, introduced Alex to the proper uses of that special piece of furniture in that special room. Every time I squeeze into some postage-stamp men’s room in some Manhattan coffee shop, I think of the job Jill did with this.

Knitting: She started by teaching a few mornings a week in Ned’s classroom. She loved it and the kids loved her, so she took the project to Alex’s classroom. Though, she says, he rarely pays much attention during knitting, but he loves making little letters out of plastic and yarn.

Restaurants: I’ve always been a little jealous of Jill, since she was in the booth years ago to see the moment Alex’s eyes went wide at his first taste of bacon. Since then, she’s taken the lead in getting us into restaurants — coffeeshops, Chinese and Vietnamese joints where he often now spoons at the rice — and she did it for the most sensible of reasons. “Because sitting down and eating in a restuarant is just something a family ought to be able to do.”

Appointments: Jill tracks them all, from doctors and field trips to zoos and cathedrals, to classroom visits to Ihop. She rarely misses one. She’ll tell you this is because she isn’t working right now, but soon I won’t be working either and I bet my average won’t be as good as hers. She can do it because she’s smart and organized despite our dining room table, and because she’s the best lady all three of her guys could hope for. We’re going on a picnic.

Image: Torontoroses.com