Positive Predictability

How many times have you found yourself in a relationship where trust was one of the weakest points? Whether you were the one that wasn’t trusted or perhaps you were the one not trusting – either way, so many people have placed such emphasis on trust – that by the way is one of the key ingredients in a successful relationship. Without trust, there’s little else worth fighting for.

As an example, I know a girl who was married, had an affair with her best friend’s husband. The two fell in love, made a baby, divorced their respective spouses and got married for the sake of the love child they created. What a mess that created. Guess what? They couldn’t trust each other. Can you believe that?

Each one was left to constantly recognize that their spouse had been taking away from a former spouse so easily so what made them think it couldn’t happen again? There was nothing that could be said or done, shy of placing a real ball and chain where the proverbial fictitious ball and chains once were. Aside from being together every minute of every day, this couple could not trust one another and rightly so.

Back when I was on the “dating scene” one thing I wanted as much as love and trust was positive predictability. Not so much knowing where my partner was every minute of every day, but being able to learn him well enough to predict his moves. To me there is a big different in being predictable in a boring fashion than being predictable in a positive way.

Once you’ve established positive predictability, trust is a natural and secure fit.