Preparing for Parenting Role Reversal
March 31, 2009 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Parenting
One of my readers commented on my post, Parenting More Than Our Children, that few things prepare us for the role reversal of caring for our parents. Often we’re caring for our own children, too.
I agree. I wasn’t prepared, and it seems so strange at first. However, I learned to enjoy Mother and Auntie as they journeyed through their Alzheimer’s world. There were frustrations, disappointments, but rewards, too. My daughter and her children’s lives are richer, as well, by caring for these ladies. The memories are often bittersweet, but this was a stage in their lives that I hoped we made easier for them.
Some tips on how to prepare yourself:
- Once I realized I’d be caregiver for Mother and Auntie, I took advantage of workshops and lectures offered by a local nursing home. This gave me insight into various aspects of caregiving.
- I found a support group. Actually in my case, it was my neighbor who was caregiver for her great aunt. We discussed the challenges, the joys, and discovered resources.
- I tried to learn all I could from reading and workshops. and look at the world through Mother and Auntie’s eyes. They taken ill with Alzheimer’s before there was much on the Internet. Today, check out Internet resources for information.
- Start your own blog; visit other web sites and blogs to learn how others are coping.
- Communicate with family members as much as possible and enlist their help. Discuss the situation and your feelings.
How are you preparing for parenting your parents, spouse or elderly family members?
I, too, saw your last post but was too busy caregiving at the time to say much. I do agree with taking advantage of workshops; in the midst of all I’m doing I’m trying to take time to attend a seminar later this week to help prepare before I get in really deep taking care of my parents. I do still have a child at home as well; however he is a teen-ager for whatever that’s worth. I do also as well have a grown child who is proving to be a real help as he’s realizing his grandparents need it.
Thanks for your post – (but as re finding blogs – I was really appreciating GenBetween – would you be able to tell me what’s happened?)
Whenever possible, get the help of others. Too often caregiving falls to one person while other family members do little or nothing else. I’ve seen circumstances even where the parent adjusted his/her will to compensate the primary caregiver for his/her duties, all while all of the other siblings knew, and were perfectly comfortable with it. Some people have to give up working to provide care. It’s just unfortunate when all of the work/stress falls to one person without help of some sort.
Donna, I’m pleased you took time to visit Blisstree, check out my post, and share your thoughts. I hope you were able to attend the workshop. I found learning all I could about Alzheimer’s and caregiving very helpful when helping Mother and Auntie.
Thank you, Derrick, for visiting Blisstree and leaving a comment on my post, sharing your thoughts about caregiving. For whatever reason, so many times, caregiving becomes the task of one family member. It’s so helpful, however, when other family members are understanding and give encouragement even when they cannot give care.