Psychological and emotional pain doesn’t have to equal suicide
February 3, 2008 by Marijke Durning, RN
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
This week is Suicide Prevention week in Quebec. I already posted a rant about the lack of publicity about it on my other blog, but it’s a very important topic and I wanted to address it here too.
My brother took his life three years ago – ironically during Suicide Prevention week. Obviously, there wasn’t enough help out there for him or the thousands of others who take that final, irreversible step.
Our society tends to blow off pain that it can’t see. Those people who live with physical chronic pain from back injuries, fibromyalgia or any similar cause can vouch for that. But the tolerance for psychological and emotional pain is even lower. There’s a culture of “get over it.”
The sad thing is, many people can’t get over it or they would if they knew how – if they had the support.
As families become more wide spread, as jobs become temporary layovers until the next, better one comes along, or until you are laid off, as people come and go from our lives and our communities change, some people can’t get the connections they need to stay whole or to heal if they’ve been hurt.
People with chronic pain often contemplate suicide
Of course, suicide is also something that also touches some people with physical chronic pain. Many people, particularly seniors, see suicide as the way out of their pain.
In 1999, the US Surgeon General published study findings in a Call to Action to Prevent Suicide, indicating that although seniors make up only 13% of the US population (at that time), they accounted for 20% of suicides.
In 2006, a study published in the Cambridge Journals found: “Relative to controls, risk of death by suicide appeared to be at least doubled in chronic pain patients. The lifetime prevalence of suicide attempts was between 5% and 14% in individuals with chronic pain, with the prevalence of suicidal ideation being ~20%.”
I’ve been there and still am forever being the sister of someone who did die by his own hand. Although we weren’t close before he died – our lives took widely divergent paths – I still loved him and would have helped him again if he had only asked.
I miss you JP.
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Technorati Tags: suicide,chronic pain
I’m sorry for your loss. Suicide almost touched our family 5 or 6 years ago and I’m so fortunate that there were signs given out by the person that made it possible to help her. I wish there was more information out both for people considering suicide and those around them.
I am sorry for your loss too. I’ve been through this kind of loss more times than I care to count, including my son’s father. It’s an unfortunate reality that if you are an Aboriginal person in this country, you stand an increased risk of either committing suicide or losing someone close to suicide.
There’s a culture of “get over it.” – How very true.
I agree that there just aren’t enough resources out there – for suicide prevention, as well as for any other kind of mental health issue. However, no matter how many resources are available, chances are there are still going to be folks who take their own lives. Aside from creating more resources, the goal is also to get people to the resources. Next month, I’m attending a workshop on suicide prevention training that covers just that – learning to detect warning signs and how to help, i.e. get the person to a medical professional.
I am so very sorry for your brother, for you, and for your entire family Marijke. *hug*
Thank you Old Wife, Cree and Alicia.
Alicia, I agree that even with more resources, suicides will happen. However, how many may be prevented?
You’re also right in saying that we have to get the people to the resources. We also have to get the general public to become more willing to discuss this – and admitting that it does happen.
I remember when my brother first died, some people were shocked that I would say how he died when people asked. I have to. I have to let people know that it doesn’t just happen to other people, it happens to people they know or knew.
I didn’t see my brother for a few years before he died. He knew where I was and we had helped him before. I guess he just felt he couldn’t ask for help any more. It’s hard not to feel guilty.
However, how many may be prevented?
Hopefully many.
It’s very frustrating knowing what good can come out of something (for example, in this case additional suicide prevention resources), yet being unable to create that “something” – does that make sense? It’s like, I want to tell the powers that be, “Hello?! Guess what! You can save [x number] of lives this year if you build this facility!”
I am so sorry for your loss. That has to be a terrible ordeal to go through.
As someone who lives with depression, I often feel suicidal. Therapy and education have helped me so much. I think a major part of the “problem” is that we don’t teach our children how to be “emotionally healthy”- probably because we are a society filled with people who are not emotionally healthy.
Susan, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with your comment about our children and emotional health. I wish it were more obvious about how we could go about it.