Pushing Through the Fear

It’s been a strange year, at least for me.  Many changes, many challenges.  I’m glad I have had my meditation to guide me through everything I’ve experienced.

While this time of year is normally punctuated with family anf friends, and lots of activities and events, it is also a time of year I find myself scrolling through my wishes, desires, disappointments and fears, too.  Maybe it’s the emotional aspect of the holiday season that gives way to these feelings.  I don’t know.   

For me, the anxiety and fear are what I have to work the hardest to overcome.  Recently, I have taken the position that if I fight my fears, I will only make situations that I fear worse.  So I’ve decided to work through the fear through my meditation practice. 

In truth, I often begin my meditation a bit anxious about events of the day, projects I have looming at work, concerns over plans and money.  What I am attempting to do with my meditation now is to recognize these feelings and do a little self-coaching, self-love, if you will. 

Rather than push these stressful thoughts out of my mind as quickly as I can, I am allowing myself to experience them.  Once I feel these thoughts permeating my mind, I breathe in deeply. Then I talk to myself–with love. I tell myself it will be o.k., that I will find the answer, that I can work through the stress.  I exhale.  This particular method allows me to acknowledge my fears, and relax with them a bit.  I know it sounds a bit strange, I used to want to run from these thoughts and avoid them at every turn.  But the acknowledgement and soothing self-talk I offer myself helps me work through these issues in real time in a more productive way.  I am less afraid to face my anxieties and fears, and better able to reach in more deeply and look for the strength to resolve what I can, and let the rest of it go.

I guess it is what you would call mindfulness.  I step into the fear and literally experience it as it comes to me.  I’m not certain it will alleviate every fear or resolve every problem.  But to bring yourself to full awareness of what you’re feeling and work through it in a rational, loving way has been much more productive for me. 

So the lesson here is not to succumb to self-doubt and anxiety, but to understand it and work with it.  Meditation is an excellent tool for coping with these feelings and recognizing them for what they are–feelings. 

If you share some of these emotions, I hope you’ll work on them through your meditation.  I think you’ll find your stress levels will dissipate and your life in the present will be much more enjoyable.

Peace.