Quick Chat on Trust & Communication

A few days ago, a friend and I got into chatting a bit and he decided to talk to me about trust, communication and relationships. It’s fun to learn that there are men out there who go through this sort of thing and it doesn’t just happen to women. This proves that both genders suffer the same problem but often differ on how they deal with it.

Men will always be different. In terms of which things are considered important, how they perceive things, and how they relate emotionally. Women on the other hand are built to handle relationships. One is more pragmatic than the other, which in a way makes each a perfect complement to the other.

Here’s a look at what my friend and I talked about:

ME: so don’t stock up on words. just do it
HIM: sometimes actions not enough
ME: of course, women love to talk but practicing what you preach supports your words well.
HIM: its not enough. they interpret it as something else
HIM: even if you are doing coz you want to
ME: if there’s anything i learned about relationships, it’s never black & white
HIM: yeah
HIM: true
ME: if you want someone to know something, to understand something, you do everything in your power to communicate
ME: without wanting anything in exchange
HIM: well sometimes its better to leave thing as is
ME: only the knowledge that she/he understands and gets the message
HIM: maybe it isn’t meant to be
ME: what? and take on a defeat-ist attitude?
ME: that’s why it’s called a commitment
ME: using something that guys can relate to
ME: “leave no man behind”
ME: know what i mean?
HIM: guess theres really no happy ending
HIM: and we’re meant to be lonely
ME: it’s thinking that it’ll never end
ME: the thing i’ve noticed lang talaga
ME: for relationships to crumble is the unwillingness for partners to truly communicate
HIM: yeah thats true
ME: laging selfish that’s why instead of listening
ME: we turn a deaf ear and simply focus on what *we* are feeling
HIM: but its hard if you’re the one communicating
HIM: and the other party isnt doing anything
ME: i can so understand how frustrating that is
ME: it’s like talking to a brick wall
HIM: but i listen.. i know how important that is
HIM: its just hard to listen when all you hear is silence
ME: perhaps both need it
ME: both can listen to their own thoughts until they’re about to go insane
HIM: yeah i guess
HIM: the best things are better left unsaid
ME: i can’t agree with that
ME: i’m such a passionate advocate on how important communication is in relationships (any kind)
HIM: it is.
HIM: trust and communication i think is very important
ME: yea, with frequent communication, steady, healthy one at that will nurture mutual trust
HIM: dont you should start with trust
ME: well, i reckon as an individual, you have a certain amount of trust you can work with
ME: it’s never foolish to be wary about certain things cuz there are situations wherein you shouldn’t jump in blind
ME: but as both communicate, the said trust will be nurtured
ME: but if you’re talking about zero trust from the start, i advise you to run the opposite direction
ME: that’s not good. it spells trouble and heart break
HIM: yeah i think so
HIM: but you should trust each other to communicate freely
ME: that’s a component and a good foundation
ME: but both should practice *actively* communicating regardless of the other things
ME: know what i mean?
ME: have you reconciled yourself with what you’re going to say that you’ll be able to deliver the very message you’re trying to convey?
ME: can you speak with conviction? firmness? without concern on how the other person will take it?
ME: if you can you have a foot in the door
ME: now’s the hard part cuz
ME: it means doing it with compassion, empathy, and the true desire to be understood and to have the other person understand

Any additional thoughts?