Rant: Horrid things men say in their dating site profiles.
October 21, 2008 by Lara Kulpa
Filed under Relationships
Image by Henry8.0 via FlickrSince I’m a woman, I can’t say what men hate to see in a woman’s dating site profile, but I sure can tell you what I can’t stand to see in a guy’s profile. This list is by no means exhaustive, complete, or in any particular order.
- “I like a woman who takes pride in her appearance.” – Easy translation on this is, “I like women who aren’t fat.” Okay, sure… we all have things we will and won’t tolerate in terms of physical attraction, but the guys who say this either say NOTHING ELSE about what they’re looking for in a woman, which makes me want to say, “I take more pride in my emotional maturity, intellect, and sense of humor than I do my body, but I guess all that’s irrelevant to you,” or they say that they want a woman who is smart, sexy, funny, loves to cook, loves fishing, hiking, camping, and NASCAR, has a great body, loves mountain climbing, has a great job, works out a lot, and so on and so on and so on. Guys, have you EVER IN YOUR LIFE met a woman like that? I mean, even your mom? Come off it already…
- “I’m just looking to have a good time and see what happens.” Uh, what exactly is your definition of a “good time” and how many times a week, with how many different women, are you seeking this “good time”? Does wanting to just have a “good time” mean that you seriously expect that there are women out there who want to have a miserable time with you? What about this “see what happens” business? Does that mean you’re basing your ideas on a potential relationship on how good of a time you have with a girl? Are there Cliff’s Notes on this, please?
- “I have bad luck with the women that I meet, so I decided to try online.” Uh, okay, well answer me this: What the hell is wrong with YOU? I mean, you’ve never had a good relationship? Ever? And I’m supposed to attempt one with you? After you admitted that you suck? Okay then…
- “I’m finding that the VAST majority of the women on this site HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE what they are missing.” No, my dear… I think I’m pretty sure of exactly what I’m missing. And I really can’t see a reason to complain about that, you kind of just proved that to me.
- “New to the area, looking for some hot girls to hang out with and have some fun with. Message me if you are interested.” Are you completely effing serious? Like dude, if you have this in your profile, please tell me how successful you’ve been. (That’s ALL he has written in his profile… nothing else.)
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Lol. This article is so true about most dating websites. Sometimes you just want people to stop sugar coating things and lay it all out there. I have found that some sites are better at monitoring profiles than others. When I joined the site Great Expectations they took the time to personally sit down with me to write my profile so it didn’t have these common cliches.
Let’s see… some of the fun ones I remember were:
“I’m going to be in ___ this weekend, and am looking for some excitement”
“I tell women I work at Walmart, and watch them walk away because all women want is money”
“No blondes. I’d like someone intellectual.”
And I can’t remember it word for word, but one guy had a long list of things that he said if you have ever done these, do not bother to contact him, including drinking, drugs, going to jail, dui, lying, etc. I was thinking this guy expects to find someone absolutely perfect who never has made any mistakes has another thing coming.
I had a list of other funny things I though to of when doing the online dating thing that I put in my Female Perspective of Match post.
~ Kristi
Yes indeedy.
Those profiles can get down right depressing…if allowed. Sometimes you will catch the ones that need to let their hair down, and tell you just how much of a “victim” they have been at the hands of their ex wife or gal pal. Nauseating!!
I once belonged to a GE (Great Expectations) Center in my city (where I met my husband) and find that this kind of “oh poor me” talk is not productive and not used…thankfully.
Kristi – I think I’ve seen that guy!!! At least, there’s a guy on POF.com that matches that profile description… he talks about “If your shirts would fit me… I wouldn’t be interested.” “If there are farm animals within smelling distance of your your house, I wouldn’t be interested.”
UGH.
Donna, maybe I’ll try that one out… I don’t know if it’ll be good for where I live though – not too many around here as it is.
Hi…Oh how true. Men put you in a box…yet they don’t wish to be boxed in..LOL
My PET PEEVE: a lot of men on these dating sites carry around excess flab..yet they specifically state that the ladies they hope to meet be slim and trim. Needless to say I pass them by….
Still Looking
What kind of a world are we living in?!!
I met a guy on Singlesnet and all he does is talk about his ex-wife, who he obviously needs to get back together with ASAP. Why do these idiots even go on dating websites to meet new women if all they are going to do is complain about their exes to their new one (LOL).
That is another thing that I am tired of seeing, this LOL crap.
Laugh out loud (HA HA HA). Well, you know what, they can swuck it.
Who cares about LOL anyway.
Then he proceeds to tell me that he and his dog are so comfortable living in his 3-bedroom house and how dare the last woman that he hooked up with want to move in with him and have a relationship.
God Forbid if a woman should want to continue the relationship beyond dating and screwing.
I feel sorry for all of us women that have to put up with this crap.
If he treats me like a dog I might not want to come back to come back to his fat, disgusting lazy butt.
Just because they have a job does not mean that they cannot exercise.
I keep in shape, and with all this women’s lib. I want a guy who looks good as well.