Rapid Cycling Through Seven Stages of Grief
When it comes to death and dying – there have been five stages of grief defined, however, when it comes to life experiences, I think there are a couple more transitions that much take place before the healing can begin and one can move on. Recover from Grief shares a detail of those stages as follows:
1. Shock & Denial
Most people react to loss with numbed disbelief. Deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.
2. Pain & Guilt
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do.
3. Anger & Bargaining
Anger sets in and may cause lashing out and assignments of unwarranted blame. This is sometimes known as the “Why Me” phase.
4. Depression & Loneliness
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. Many resort to isolation, reflect on things they did, focus on memories and accomplishments.
5. Recovery
Life becomes a little easier and more organized. Symptoms grow milder and depression begins to lift.
6. Reconstructing
Many begin seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life with this loss.
7. Acceptance
Learning to accept and deal with the new reality. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. The way to move forward becomes more clear.
When life changes come my way – I try to take as much time as I need in chunks. I try to force myself to process through the stages quickly and move on. Of course this is very different than with death and dying, to which I still haven’t gotten over the loss of some very special people who left years ago.
For the most part, I tend to be a control freak and don’t like to let outside influences have control over my feelings for very long – and with life experiences, that’s exactly what the grieving process is – it’s someone else controlling your emotions, your feelings and your life.
Do you struggle with a grieving process slowly or rapid cycling like me? What are some of the things you choose to do to for yourself during these tough times?
