Ready To Jump

As I mentioned in my intro post, I have been involved in a long distance relationship for one year. Actually, today is our 1 year anniversary.  I love my boyfriend very much and I’ve spent more time than I would actually admit to thinking about how I want to live with him full time.  Okay, I will admit to this - a good part of each day has been spent picturing our life together. 

We did have a plan to move in together at one point, but circumstances, meaning job stuff, changed those plans.   Since that time, we have not spoken about it again.  Our visits have been timed farther apart, but that’s due to gas prices more than anything else.  Even though our time together felt normal and okay when he was in town, part of me was worried.  Why didn’t he bring it up again?  How come he was able to go for long periods without talking to me? 

A couple of things changed  my outlook in less than a week. One was reading the column that featured the Involved/Committed chart and I figured out that I was involved and he was the one who was truly committed. The other was the realization that I am a bit overwhelmed by my life right now and this, these short visits every 6 weeks or so, they are all I am up to right now.  All of a sudden, I felt more relaxed and ready to enjoy our time together. 

I used to do this thing when I was a kid - I’d read the end of the book way ahead of time.  I had to know how things were going to end and once I knew, I could relax and enjoy the story.  Right now, I don’t know how things are going to end, but I’m okay with that.  Just knowing that I love someone who has faith in us, that’s enough for me, because he’s a smart guy and I trust that he knows what he’s talking about. 

Sometimes love is like that, you close your eyes, you grab the hand of your loved one, and together you jump.   If you get to that jumping off point at the same time, great, but if you don’t, try to be patient, everyone has their own timetable and there’s no forcing true and honest commitment.