Rebel parenting kid and chores tip

In the previous post we looked at, how to get your kids to clean and organize. I left one tip out. My reasoning for leaving this tip off the original list was because I think it’s one of the most important kid tips around – especially when it comes to chores, so I figured we’d give this tip its own post.

The tip:

Don’t ask your kids to help out if you’re not prepared to hear the answer.

Here’s what happens – you say, “Hey Chris, will you please help me fold laundry?” Chris says, “No, I’m in the middle of something” or the much less desirable, “NO! I DON’T WANT TO!” Either way, Chris said no, but what usually happens is the parent then says, “I said I need you to help.” To which Chris says, “I said no, I’m busy.” To which the parent says, “Now I’m mad, come here and help or else!”

Don’t roll your eyes because I’ve seen conversations like this plenty of times between kids and parents. Here’s the deal though, you ASKED. If you want Chris to help and no is never going to be an acceptable answer you need to tell Chris that it’s time to help fold the laundry please – flat out.

If someone asks you to do something and you say, “Nope, I’m busy” and then that person tries to bully you into the task anyhow, how happy will you feel? Will you be more or less willing to help them another time? Probably less I’d wager.

Many parents I know, hate when I say stuff like this. They tell me, “It’s my kid, they have to do what I say” and other obnoxious stuff. But the rub is that wording does matter. If you want your kids to be helpful use words correctly. Even a small child knows the difference between tell and ask. Even three year old kids can make choices.

In my house, I’ve never forced my son to help clean if he’s dead set against it, and more often then not he still helps – maybe because there’s no pressure. The friends I’ve had who agree with the above idea, also tend to have kids that help out.

What do you think?