Comments on: Reminders Are Always Such Great Lessons http://www.blisstree.com/articles/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons-4/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:42:41 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jenna http://www.blisstree.com/articles/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons-4/comment-page-1/#comment-218437 Jenna Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:12:14 +0000 http://www.cfssquared.com/2008/03/03/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons/#comment-218437 Oh, I was right there with you - I used to laugh hysterically at the thought of being a stay-at-home-mom, just couldn't imagine doing it. Then I found myself a stay-at-home-wife, without even a garden to look after - talk about demoralizing! I think it took at least a year before I quit trying to *at least* be able to ... (have the dishes clean, have the clean clothes outweigh the dirty ones, keep up with birthday cards/christmas gifts, whatever). It was a crash course in finding "worth" outside of *doing*. I think it helps that I'm a naturally optimistic person: given the choice between redefining all my attitudes or falling into that depression hole, I eventually went with the redefinition ;). Perfect is the enemy of good. And reaching can be the enemy of healing. I think the biggest thing I did was just to rework the timescale: I still aim to do X, but it doesn't have to be this month or this year - I'll get to it! Oh, I was right there with you – I used to laugh hysterically at the thought of being a stay-at-home-mom, just couldn’t imagine doing it. Then I found myself a stay-at-home-wife, without even a garden to look after – talk about demoralizing! I think it took at least a year before I quit trying to *at least* be able to … (have the dishes clean, have the clean clothes outweigh the dirty ones, keep up with birthday cards/christmas gifts, whatever). It was a crash course in finding “worth” outside of *doing*. I think it helps that I’m a naturally optimistic person: given the choice between redefining all my attitudes or falling into that depression hole, I eventually went with the redefinition ;) .

Perfect is the enemy of good. And reaching can be the enemy of healing. I think the biggest thing I did was just to rework the timescale: I still aim to do X, but it doesn’t have to be this month or this year – I’ll get to it!

]]> By: laura http://www.blisstree.com/articles/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons-4/comment-page-1/#comment-217923 laura Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:26:57 +0000 http://www.cfssquared.com/2008/03/03/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons/#comment-217923 Jenna, I am really glad to know that you have adapted so successfully. I know how difficult it is....mostly because I failed at it. Even when I was at my worst, I wasn't very good at doing the "at home" thing. I was always trying to get to the next level....I couldn't get past the guilt of staying home. Thinking that this "state of illness" as forever (eventhough its called chronic" would defeat anyone. So I choose not to think of it that way....and it sounds to me that you think along the same lines as I do. Balance has always been a difficult one for me. I know that I need to work, and that I need rest in order to take care of myself properly...but I can't seem to manage it perfectly. Perhaps striving for perfection, is part of the cause of failure. Jenna,

I am really glad to know that you have adapted so successfully. I know how difficult it is….mostly because I failed at it.

Even when I was at my worst, I wasn’t very good at doing the “at home” thing. I was always trying to get to the next level….I couldn’t get past the guilt of staying home.

Thinking that this “state of illness” as forever (eventhough its called chronic” would defeat anyone. So I choose not to think of it that way….and it sounds to me that you think along the same lines as I do.

Balance has always been a difficult one for me. I know that I need to work, and that I need rest in order to take care of myself properly…but I can’t seem to manage it perfectly. Perhaps striving for perfection, is part of the cause of failure.

]]> By: laura http://www.blisstree.com/articles/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons-4/comment-page-1/#comment-217922 laura Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:20:18 +0000 http://www.cfssquared.com/2008/03/03/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons/#comment-217922 Thanks Alicia, the video is a good one....makes you think about whether the health industry even wants us to get healthy. After watching that video, I think the answer might be, "no they don't". Thanks Alicia,

the video is a good one….makes you think about whether the health industry even wants us to get healthy. After watching that video, I think the answer might be, “no they don’t”.

]]> By: Jenna http://www.blisstree.com/articles/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons-4/comment-page-1/#comment-218128 Jenna Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:19:41 +0000 http://www.cfssquared.com/2008/03/03/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons/#comment-218128 Yup. Although I'm surprised that I have less of a problem with wide open spaces and crowds than I used to - I think maybe not having my remaining shreds of energy constantly syphoned off gives me more reserves to deal with those things when I finally encounter them. My two 10-minute bouts of driving in the last few months have scared the shit out of me though!! Over the past couple of years I've found that it's more a sense of being part of a community, having a variety of activities, and helping other people out that's important to me, not necessarily "work" (although I really, really need the money - cross fingers for this summer!) - I've built an online-skype-phone community, I try and transmit knowledge that way and help DH as much as I can, and I've got 101 different interests and projects to keep these few walls from getting too stale. There are a multitude of things I miss from "work". There are a multitude of things I miss from school. But surprisingly, I've adapted pretty darn well to the wait until I can do those things again. If you promised me that this was forever though, I might go off the deep end. Yup. Although I’m surprised that I have less of a problem with wide open spaces and crowds than I used to – I think maybe not having my remaining shreds of energy constantly syphoned off gives me more reserves to deal with those things when I finally encounter them. My two 10-minute bouts of driving in the last few months have scared the shit out of me though!!

Over the past couple of years I’ve found that it’s more a sense of being part of a community, having a variety of activities, and helping other people out that’s important to me, not necessarily “work” (although I really, really need the money – cross fingers for this summer!) – I’ve built an online-skype-phone community, I try and transmit knowledge that way and help DH as much as I can, and I’ve got 101 different interests and projects to keep these few walls from getting too stale. There are a multitude of things I miss from “work”. There are a multitude of things I miss from school. But surprisingly, I’ve adapted pretty darn well to the wait until I can do those things again.

If you promised me that this was forever though, I might go off the deep end.

]]> By: Alicia Sparks, NAMI Affiliation Leader http://www.blisstree.com/articles/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons-4/comment-page-1/#comment-217919 Alicia Sparks, NAMI Affiliation Leader Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:51:22 +0000 http://www.cfssquared.com/2008/03/03/reminders-are-always-such-great-lessons/#comment-217919 Wishing you a speedy recovery :) And thanks so much for the heads up on the video! Wishing you a speedy recovery :) And thanks so much for the heads up on the video!

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