Reminders of an anorexic past
February 11, 2008 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
Some days, my battle with Ana (a.k.a., anorexia) seems like a lifetime ago. And occasionally, it seems like someone else’s lifetime ago!
But not recently.
You see, I discovered a few days ago that I’ve gained about two pounds [see image ~ get the joke? humor is my way of dealing with the craziness of all this...]
Yep, all of two.
No biggie, right? I know that weight fluctuates and that it’s perfectly normal to go up and down within a certain range. Duh. So this shouldn’t even be an issue.
But Ana (who is kept under lock and key) somehow was able to escape into my thoughts (she obviously sneaked past a gatekeeper who was asleep on the job!). She began telling me that this was just the beginning, that I would slide into obesity in a matter of minutes, that I wasn’t fit and trim, that…
Well, you get the picture.
Two. Little. Pounds.
It’s not a big deal. It’s not a problem. It’s not a crisis. It’s 32 measly ounces.
Simply ridiculous. And I’m not allowing it to affect me. I’m still eating as usual. But this experience has been a definite reminder of how insidious anorexia is, how Ana stays with you like a shadow lurking in the corner, just waiting to pounce when you’re vulnerable.
I guess I’ll put Ms. Ana away in a box with several locks so she doesn’t escape the next time the scale moves up. Oh, and I’ll need to get a new gatekeeper, too.
