Restore Me to Sanity?
December 7, 2005 by admin
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
I remember when my sponsor first asked me about Step 2. It says Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. My response was something like “I don’t have any choice; it will take God to fix me… I’m obviously insane.”
I’ve never had any trouble admitting I’m nuts. What I didn’t realize is it would take me ages to have any confidence the God of my understanding would fix me if I got out of the way. For reasons that are still obscure to me, my tendency has been to believe that Higher Power would fix you, and everyone else, but not me… somehow I felt I was different, and not worthy.
That sense of unworthiness and separateness turns out to be my real insanity. As I’ve learned to let go of that notion life has just gotten, on the whole, better and better. The Steps are deeper, more subtle and potentially more life-changing than we ever suspect.
Love, blessings and gratitude,
