I HATE looking at message boards about it. No one comes away from those feeling empowered or like they have gained valuable insight like your book club did after reading the book. I’ve made a point to not read any of those boards.

My bookclub read it and we all wanted to hate it and the author.

Instead, after reading the actual book (and not opinions of those who read the cover of the book) every single one of us changed our perception of our own work, felt more empowered to make better financial decisions for ourselves and felt a very pressing need based on statistical reality to make ourselves as financially independent as possible. No matter what.

So, truly I feel gratitude toward the author. She said a lot of crap that I did not want to hear. But, it was written so well, that I will make different – better – decisions from here on out.

That includes the housewifes, hairdressers, me, wealthy physical therapist, nonmothers, and educators who have all made different work choices.

Two are registered for school, in part because of the book.

It really, really helped me lay down most of my working guilt. Which, you know for me is huge.

That’s in no way pointless. That changed the lives of 8 women and all the women they know and their kids, etc.

Looks like I’ll probably be having the baby tomorrow if I can get admitted tonight. I have to be induced.

I can’t say I enjoy the sparring. Lately I’ve found it really depressing. I blame the hormones, of course!

And Tracee, I am beyond glad to know that you are making time for those things that are important to you.

You are right. There is a certain condescension like that about child rearing too, like it’s so damn easy, especially from people who have no children. I have been guilty of that attitude on occasion myself. I know it is harder than it looks, and I admire you all for making difficult decisions. Especially in light of the fact that you’re pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don’t on most things.

I feel overwhelmed and out of balance all the time WITHOUT children, and I often marvel at how you moms do it! I’m exhausted just watching.

You didn’t hurt my feelings. I enjoy sparring also, and I actually really like these debates and seeing different sides of the issues.

The thing about Oprah’s advice is that she’s right about time for yourself and learning to say no and rejecting the “perfect mommy” standard.

I think Oprah’s particularly credible when she brings on Christiane Northrup and Dr. Oz who can tell us what the severe health consequences are if we don’t heed the advice.

We can keep it up for a few years and then our physical body says NO MORE and our thyroids stop working or our blood pressure goes dangerously high, etc. You can keep going at that pace – but there are real consequences.

Oprah’s advice has helped me develop an ability to say No. I said no (to yet another opportunity to serve the damn children), where I previously would have give into guilt, to some church ladies yesterday and it felt great and it was the best choice for me. I don’t get many massages, but I do way fewer things I don’t want to do, I make time for yoga and exercise, I refuse to miss my bookclub for any number of “more important” excuses, I insist on help from the rest of the family for “maintenance of life and home.”