Saturday with Friends and a Black Van

Around 11.30 am on Saturday a black van pulled up in front of where we live. Charlie was sitting on the couch and looking out the window for Jim to return with breakfast and his eyes lit up at the sight of that van.

Back in June, Jim and I were interviewed by Todd Drezner, who’s making an autism documentary called Loving Lampposts. Yesterday Todd and his crew came to shoot some footage of Charlie and us. After a couple of really fast “no’s,” Charlie sat down at the piano and then strapped on his helmet to ride his bike.

Charlie made sure Jim had his and hopped on to follow Jim’s black bike. It took Charlie a moment to swing his right leg over his red bike and for a moment he balanced an almost-still bike before his left foot found the pedal, and then he was off and riding. After going halfway down the street, Jim tapped Charlie’s shoulder and the two of them turned around in unison and rode past the cameraman, then rode about halfway down the street the other way before turning around again in a neat oval. Charlie’s whole face beamed as he flew by.

After about four rounds of that, Charlie told Jim it was time for an actual bike ride and off they rode. Todd and his crew asked about a place to each lunch. At the sight of the three men getting into the black van, Charlie said “no, no” and stood sentry by the back of the van, until Jim suggested that they follow him and Charlie to a restaurant, and off they all went. Jim and Charlie stopped at a sub shop where Charlie said “no” after a split second to a meatball sandwich. At first Charlie was unsettled and broadcast his voice and anxiousness loudly. Jim went about ordering and getting food and settling Charlie in a booth and they ate (Charlie got a bagel; Jim had the whole sandwich).

When they came back, Charlie relaxed on the couch and then said “yes” to playing the cello (whose G and C strings were very out of tune; fortunately I was able to fix that). Charlie sang as he plucked each string and he can really carry a tune: “A, A, A; D, D, D; A, D, A, D, A, D, A. C, G, D, A, D, G……”

Afterwards, the crew packed up their equipment while Charlie ran out to admire that black van; it was shiney and gleamed and Charlie and I could see our full reflections on it. Charlie had his faithful blue hoodie pulled tightly over his head as he peered at the black van’s side. Todd and the crew said their good-byes and Charlie backed away and watched the van drive away.

“It was nice seeing friends today,” I said.

“See friends today,” said Charlie.

Charlie’s eyes always light up when I say the word “friend.” Maybe he doesn’t have friends in the usual sense of that word, friends who are his age and peers and who he hangs out with. But for Charlie, there’s no questioning of the wish for contact and time with others, for being among others, to be with people, and to enjoy their company. And having a chance to show off just some of what he can do makes for another good day with Charlie.