Say No in 2008
December 14, 2007 by Tracee Sioux
Filed under Parenting
Kate Baggott has been participating in Project Blog and I want her to win. Maybe I’m hoping her success will leak out on me or maybe I just enjoy her advice and insight. Please stop by and read this post and vote for her at Babylune.
She writes about our never-ending time problem as women. We’re trying to do it all and frankly, it’s killing us. We all want to slow down. We’re tired and getting cranky.
I think she’s hit on the answer too. It’s the same answer I’ve been reading and seeing everywhere from Christine Northrup, to Suze Orman to Eat, Pray, Love to Oprah to Kate from Babylune.
We, women, must learn to say NO. Every woman I’ve been taking notes from in 2007 has told us that we must build a wall of NOs around us.
This last part of the year I’ve tried it. I quit a volunteer thing on Wedsnesday nights volunteering with teenagers. I truly believed in the cause and felt I was well-suited for it.
But, it was one less night at home with the family and it was one more thing I had to rush for and it was one more cause of friction between my husband and I.
I sobbed while telling the leader that I was unvolunteering – I truly did feel that terrible about it. But, in the ensuing weeks, I found a level of peace by being at home on Weds that I hadn’t experienced in a while. It hurt to say no to a good thing, but the peace bought by it has been treasured.
New Years Resolution for women in 2008 – Find something to say no to.
But, do stop by and vote for Kate.
I had a great chance to practice saying “no” during my study for the Bar Exam. Saying no is one of my top 10 tips I recommend in one of my blog posts about taking care of yourself during the Bar (linked above). The first no was hard, so was the second, but by the third or forth no I gained confidence and I keep reassuring myself that I was taking care of myself (in this case, giving myself no distractions so I could pass) and that I should not feel guilty for doing so. It was nice to see some payoff when I actually passed the Bar! You have to look at the payoff in order to feel comfortable saying no: more time with kids, your husband, more time to relax to help make you a better more patient mom and person, etc.
Thanks for the support Tracee. I am learning slowly how to do what is best for me and my family rather than what is just “a good thing to do.”
Fortunately, or unfortunately, I’m the Queen Of No in my house since the kids came along, which might be closely related to my somewhat recently discovered ability to say no to other people. “No” is a good word when used wisely.