Comments on: Saying No for No Apparent Reason

By: Play Library » New Year’s Resolutions

Play Library » New Year’s Resolutions — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 04:28:13 +0000

[...] 3. Be more fun. Only say “no” when I’ve actually taken the time to listen to my kids’ requests and have a reason to say “no,” not just because I’m being lazy. This includes pulling out the Play-doh and paints more often. The kids love them, but I get bugged with the mess. I know, I know, it’s really not a good enough reason to steal away potentially good memories from their childhood. That’s why it’s on my list. [...]

By: steve

steve — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 13:20:04 +0000

Thanks guys for commenting. I know that I have said “no” before but not really justifiably. I think there is usually a reason for saying no, but like Liam said, I think taking it that one step forward, and giving your kids the time and respect to let them know why.

By: Liam

Liam — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:21:39 +0000

See, there always is some sort of reason, and communicating that to your child is more important than your answer. Maybe you don’t want them watching a movie because you have a headache and really just want to lie down in the quiet. Maybe it’s because you know they’d have nightmares if they watched it.

But just saying “no” is the wrong approach, because it teaches your kids that one can be arbitrary. We here all know that kids are smarter than many people give them credit for, so go ahead and negotiate with them. “Sweetie, we can record that movie on the VCR and watch it together, but right now…” “…I’m not feeling well, so if you can read for half an hour while I lie down, then I’ll let you watch it” or “…We can watch it together tomorrow afternoon.”

Kids are smart enough to understand most reasons that you tell them, especially if you make a habit of it.

By: darrenh

darrenh — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 15:12:46 +0000

Seems like, at the very least, you should have a reason.

By: Kerri

Kerri — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 17:10:57 +0000

Guilty as charged. Laziness is my reason, I think. I have realized that I do it mostly out of habit. Half the time I’m not sure I’ve even listened to what they’re asking. Bad, bad mom. But I’m trying to be more deliberate about my answers to their 10 million and 2 questions! I’ve come to realize that if they start figuring out that I’m not listening, then they’ll stop asking me stuff and look other places for answers. For as long as I can be, I want to be the “go-to” gal.

By: Shane

Shane — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 20:44:11 +0000

Had a moment of of Zen one day and realized that I was doing that. So I decided that if I really had no real reason to tell them “No” they could do what they wanted. The house has been quiet ever since (yea right)! But seriosly I found myself telling the kids no at times just because they irritated me earlier.