Second Marriages, Blended Families and Separate Finances

While caught up in my endless addictive reading mode on one of my favorite message boards, I stumbled on a discussion about a blended family who is struggling over family and financial issues.

A few facts:

• The son lives with the father and stepmom.
• Stepmom has child who is 18 and lives with father.
• Husband manages household finances in one account.
• Wife is told they are too broke and can’t give her son money for car repairs
• Husband spends a great deal on his child’s sports activities
• The couple have a small toddler together

Given that set of circumstances above, what do you think would be the best solution for this families conflict?

Being in a blended family and second marriage, I believe whole-heartedly in split finances. I know resentment can grow when one parent takes more than their share from the family budget for their own kids – but if the parents contribute their own portion to the family budget and then provide for their children out of what’s left over, that’s entirely up to them what and how it’s spent.

If the mother has two kids and the father has one kid living in the household from the previous marriage – then the father would be responsible for 2 parts of the overall household budget while the mother is responsible for 3 parts. I believe in equal portions.

Being in a blended family is very different. Resentment can set in and grow – and finances seem to be the primary cause of those resentments. I believe in eliminating the potential for conflict from the start. Keep the bank accounts separate.

What are your thoughts? Please do share!