Selfish and Ego-Rewarding

Because it makes me feel better! That’s right, its about me…

Why don’t I tell you the truth? If I told you the truth you’d feel angry at me. Your feelings would be hurt and I’d be the one who hurt them. You wouldn’t like me anymore. I need to be liked. My insides are judged by your outsides. You don’t like me therefore I’m no good.

So I tell you you did a wonderful job with your drug talk in AA.

Thanks to Robyn, there is a very clear explanation of it which I will quote partially;

“In the past, I would have been more comfortable to welcome this non-alcoholic addict and attempt to sponsor him in AA. It makes me feel better to be all-inclusive, to say all are welcome, to play the good Samaritan to one and all. I would have chosen my comfort over his welfare and the welfare of AA.”

Do we all get that? I am actually choosing my comfort over someone else’s welfare.

I’ve seen it happen. An AA member strongly (sometimes obnoxiously) suggests to someone with a drug problem that they go to Narcotics Anonymous – and a few of us take offense! How dare they do that?

Because its the best thing for that person! Now they’ll be able to identify and understand. Now the help they receive will be rightly targeted.

It will work the same way for any other Twelve Step need.

Here is another quote to pay very strong attention to;

“AA is not all-inclusive, nor was it ever intended to be. We developed from a narrowing of the broad objectives of the Oxford Group to focus on helping alcoholics only. We are still strong, the Oxford Group is not.  Many fine organizations have come and gone because of their inability to stick to one thing they do well. Many organizations have failed because they lacked the humility to realize their limitations. Tradition Three states “our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism.” Members may have as many “related disorders” or problems as they wish, but to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, one must have alcoholism and a desire to stop drinking.”

The Oxford Group? Who knows of an Oxford Group meeting anywhere tonight? Do we understand now???

“There are many fine Twelve Step programs out there whose singleness of purpose makes them best equipped to help the non-alcoholic addict, gambler, co-dependent, etc. My failure to realize this and direct these persons to the program they need is selfish and ego-rewarding, choosing what feels good to me over what is right for them.”