Shotgun Weddings for Pregnant Teens
The breaking news when I woke up this morning was the news that Bristol Palin is pregnant. If you don’t know, Bristol is the 17-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin, John McCain’s VP pick. The McCain/Palin camp released this news to put to rest a recent conspiracy theory. Prior to this announcement the internet was a buzz with rumors that Sarah Palin’s infant son was actually Bristol’s child and Sarah had faked her pregnancy ala Bree Van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives.
In their announcement the family was quick to point out that Bristol is planning on keeping the baby (which goes along with Sarah Palin’s pro-life stance) and will be marrying her boyfriend, the baby’s father. I was a little concerned when I heard this. I don’t know the family. Maybe Bristol and her boyfriend have been dating for several years and were already talking about marriage before she got pregnant. But I would bet not, considering their age. I hope her family is not pushing her in to marrying this boy just because she’s pregnant.
The divorce rate in the U.S. is already high, but it increases significantly when the mother is under 18. Almost half of all teen marriages end in divorce. That’s a staggering rate. Now that we are in the 21st century I think we are way past shot gun weddings. The commitment of marriage shouldn’t be entered in to because you “have” to, but instead because you want to.
I was 19 when I got pregnant the first time. I was out of high school, but I was still terrified about the idea of having a baby. I was still too young. However, I too decided to keep my baby. But never once did I think about marrying my boyfriend just because I was pregnant. We weren’t ready for marriage. We were too immature for marriage. Granted we were too immature to be having a baby too, but it was too late for that. And two wrongs don’t make a right.
Eventually, three years after my baby was born, my boyfriend and I got married. We are still married to this day. And that baby is now an annoying (but lovable) 14-year-old. But when we decided to get married we did it because we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Not because we were expecting a baby.
This is going to be a very difficult time for Bristol and her boyfriend. I hope they consider all their options and make the best choice for them.
I’m so with you. Forcing two people to marry because there is a baby on the way is not the way to create a happy, stable home. My daughter was born during my senior year of college. As terrified as her dad and I were, we never considered marriage as an automatic next step. We raised her together and eventually did end up marrying, but forcing a marriage back then would have been a mistake.
You would hope that all these things would be true. But, evidence is to the contrary.
She will marry him because her mother’s political career depends on it.
Of course, if she was better prepared with proper information and not “abstinence only” education, perhaps they wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place. So, since she went “against the rules” her punishment is she is going to get married whether she likes it or not.
Then eventually someday, after Palin career has ended they will quietly divorce.
It is difficult to make the right decision about marriage when you are a pregnant teen. You want to do the right thing, you think that you are in love and can handle all the roadblocks ahead, but really you know so little of life at that point.
I was pregnant at 18 and decided to get married – it seemed like the right thing to do and I wasn’t forced into it by anyone. But, it really wasn’t the right decision.
Christine’s father is a great guy and an excellent father, but we really weren’t right for each other. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant and married, we most likely would have dated a while and ultimately broken up to pursure different life paths (though who can really know).
Ultimately we were divorced when Christine was in Kindergarten – which was probably harder on Christine than it would have been to have been 2 parents that never married.
However, we were able to remain friends and responsible parents (or so we both believe
) even though we went our different ways. And, I think Christine turned out pretty good!!
Mom
As much as i wish this teenager did not engage in a pre-marital sex, I also agree that getting married is not the “solution” to this.
They cannot make right a wrong with another wrong.
Like you, I think they have to wait. If after the pressure is off and they are still in love with each other, then they should get married and “live happily ever after”, but marrying “just because she got pregnant” is not a good thing.