Should children sleep in their parents bed?
“Fairy stories are more than true, not because they tell us there are dragons, but because they tell us they can be defeated.”
G.K. Chesterton
When my children were very young, I stood toe-to-toe with many people insisting they respect my wishes and not threaten my children with tales of dragons and the boogyman that hides under beds.
I literally demanded that my children’s bedroom be considered a safe haven for them – a place to be respected – a place they’d never fear sleeping.
Creating that safe environment made my life so much easier!
I made certain my kids were home at their naptime every single day so they could sleep safe and secure in their own bed.
Like clockwork, the boys were ready for bed between 7:30 and 8:00 PM every single night. In fact, there were times I was actually insulted, telling me I should not force my kids to be on such a strict schedule. That was until the one person who criticized me most was visiting when one my boys began insisting “mommy, I want to go to bed NOW!”
The boys room was as dark as it could be to allow for solid sleep – and to this day, they like to sleep with their rooms as dark as they can get them. I used to play a radio or keep a fan going on their room to create a sleep habit that wouldn’t be interrupted by low level noises. And to this day, I can sit in the family room, watching television and it doesn’t disturb them in the least.
As the mother of twins, I found it an absolute necessity to create positive habits such as this. Without them, I would have never had the ‘me time’ that was so necessary for me to keep my sanity.
I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with creating a strict schedule where sleep habits are concerned. I do think that a parents room should be a parents room. In as much as children should have their space, parents should to.
Children should feel as though their room is the one place they can always feel safe from dragons and where they are the hero in the fairy tale.
What are your thoughts? Should children sleep in their parents room or bed?
Tags: parenting, sleep habits, dragons, boogyman
I think it is an incredibly personal decision– to cosleep or not– with many different factors playing a role. We co-sleep now mostly because I work full-time, mother full-time, and need every ounce of rest I can get. My husband is currently overseas and with a 10 month old baby, life is crazy.
Just because it is right for us right now though, doesn’t mean that it will be right in another year… or is it necessarily for everyone.
my 3 yearold use to sleep in her crib for 12 hr stetches between 7months to 16 months old then when i went back to work pregnant again she would fight her sleep at night, i was to tierd and to pregnant and gave in put her with me, we have been that way ever since, she is alittle restless with me and wakes up frequently, she is totally afraid to sleep alone, and at one point i had a bassinent and her in my room.thank god dad sleeps n other room, i do get good rest, but some times my other child now 16months tries to get in cries at night too.I wonder if this is going to affect my younger child, she may feel less loved, But i need sleep too, and my 3year old is very advanced and smart she knws all the ways not to go in own bed, we tried for 4 weeks and she woke up 6 – 9 times every night and wouldnt nap…please HELP!!!!!!
My hairy chest and pits got in the way of too much sharing… muffling screams as you get exfoliated by tiny sleeping hands kind of sharpens thinking about preparing a special bedroom haven for the little ones.
I installed their room with a comfy chair, invaluable for night feeding when they were small and now for reading stories or kipping in when they’ve caught something nasty and will chunder through the night.
When wee feet came padding through I’d decamp to the comfy chair, to watch over them as they slept – and after one uncomfortable night designated big bear as “guardian of dreams”… he now sits in for me whilst I snooze undisturbed.
I belive that a kid has there own room & bed & that, NO. Kids should not sleep with there parents. My Girlfriend has a 11 year old son & still today she’ll let him sleep in her bed. I think it’s wrong & a very sick thing. I have a 7 year old son, He sleeps in his own bed when he’s with me & the same with my Ex-wife. We don’t belive in haveing our kid sleep with us. My girlfriend has always let him sleep with her. I tried to put a stop to it but all he does is cry & argue with her & tells her when & when he sleeps. He’s in total control of her life & i belive like i said, Sleeping with your parents is wrong. That kid is 11 yrs old & he will have problems.
My son and his wife decided they would allow their children to sleep in the bed with them for a “short” while…just a few months. I thought it was a mistake and it might be difficult to break later. Six years later the kids cry and throw tantrums if they are put in their own beds–they meander to their parents room in the middle of the night. My son generally goes to the couch. I don’t think my son and his wife ever get to spend the entire night together. When the children spend the night at my house I am strict and they WILL sleep in their own beds without incident. The kids are smart and know to wait until their parents are tired and sleepy to manipulate them. Personally I think every married couple needs bonding time and this is important to a healthy family life. When my children were growing up we spent plenty of time with them–they were rocked to sleep and I read stories to them..I often laid on the side of the bed with them and talked a bit. They always knew I was near. They also knew our bed was ours and theirs was theirs. They knew Mom slept with “one ear open too”. Mom had a magic way of hearing the least little thing. I think my son feels somewhat “displaced” by the fact that his wife refuses to put her foot down to the kids and force the issue of making them sleep in their room, though I do think he should say more about it than he does. (He has told her how he feels though he should push the issue a little more) I always absolutely adored my children but I looked forward to cuddling my husband at night, and those little conversations that take place just before you drop off to sleep..and anything else that might happen spontaneously if you don’t have kids in the bed. I don’t believe in being manipulated by children or letting them rule the roost..parents set the guidelines and stick to them.
I’m laying on the couch at my boyfriends… Angry that once again I’m put out since his 6 ty old is in our bed. I fear that our relationship will be over since she plays him like a fiddle on this topic and his ex insists that she be allowed to do so. I have children who have been loved greatly and were not allowed to sleep in our room….I believe it destroys the intanacy and personal time parents get.