Should nanny be paid for her time?
Ok, here’s the question that was submitted to Miss Manners…
QUESTION: Our baby’s nanny is beloved to all of us, and we’d like to invite her to be our guest at the first-birthday party. If she attends, should we pay her for her time and for carfare?
Before reading any further, stop and think of what you believe the answer might be…
Got it?
Ok, now check out what Miss Manners has to say…
ANSWER: Absolutely.
No doubt your nanny loves the baby dearly and wouldn’t miss the party for the world. But hard as it may be for you, as parents, to imagine, she also has her own life and other ways to spend her free time.
Furthermore, she is not going to stand staring out the window if the baby needs something while you are not in immediate attendance. So there she would be, giving up her free time to work for free.
Miss Manners would consider the most gracious solution to be first merely to ask the nanny to be there and to pay her for that in advance or offer a compensatory day off, but then, at the event itself, to say, “I’m sure I can manage — please just consider yourself a guest and have a good time.”
Maybe I’m a real prude or out of touch with this sort of thing, but I’m thinking if the invitation is sent to the Nanny just like it is every one else that might attend, she has the right to decline attending if she feels it would be too much “work.”
Furthermore, I can’t imagine the childs grandparents standing by while the child might need attention… does that mean the parents should pay the grandparents for their time too?
Tags: super nanny, nanny, miss manners
Hmm! My aunt actually works as a nanny and I know that she has gotten to take trips and things like that. I think, if I were the nanny, it would depend on the parents (who I probably know pretty well since I work for them). Some parents might be trying to take advantage with the invitation. If I were the nanny I would want those parents to pay. Others would not expect the nanny to work and would allow it to purely be a social event.
From the parent’s perspective, Miss Manner’s approach is probably correct. That way the nanny won’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re the kind of parent that takes advantage … When you offer to pay she can always say, “Oh don’t think of it.”