Should Schools Make Concessions for Pregnant Teens?
I love the morning news. There’s always something there that trips my trigger and let’s me know there are still many things in life I am passionate about.
This morning one of the top news stories was with regards to pregnant teens wanting special concessions and privileges.
I thought my husband was going to have to pick me from the ceiling.
Perhaps this is a time when homeschooling ala the Chapman family would come in handy. These girls chose to go out, have sex without protection and now want the schools to make special accommodations?
Might as well let the rude awakening take place. The sooner the better, actually!
I think NOT!
Personally, I think a girl who becomes pregnant should be restricted to homeschooling anyway.
On a lighter note, here’s the conversation that took place with one of the boys:
Kid: What’s got you set off this time mom?
Me: Pregnant teens wanting special concessions at school
Kid: What do they want one filled with chocolate?
Me: Not that kind of concession goofball!
Tags: pregnant teens, teenage pregnancy, homeschooling
Agreed, but what kind of homelife do these girls probably have? Do they have parents able to homeschool? Probably not.
So, the school should help make concessions. The first school that I taught at held night school for kids who could not attend traditional school for whatever reason. It worked.
I am the parent of a girl who got pregnant at 16. She was an honor student and we have a GOOD family. How dare you say that pregnant girls should be separated from other students. If that is so then why do the fathers of these babies still get to mix with the perfect group who never make mistakes. I am shocked that such attitudes still exist. I guess you would rather the girls get abortions or be sent away some where. I hope that you remain as perfect as you are because we imperfect people are just waiting for the real world to catch up to you.
I am simply saying that before the schools go overboard to make special concessions for pregnant teens, the teens should be homeschooled – if they wish to remain in school than they should be treated like every other student!
And what’s more, I’ve got three boys who are close to dating age. I’ve stressed to them that pregnancy prevention is entirely THEIR responsibility. Unless they see the girl get the shot IN the arm, they are NOT to trust any other form of birth control WHAT. So. Ever!
When my daughter was in school the only consession she got was she didnt need permission to go to the bathroom to throw up. But you know I am sure you would rather these girls get no education and be on welfare than to make some conssesions.
I remember how hard my daughter worked, she lost all of her friends and the teachers treated her like she had the plague. She worked very hard and in spite of those around her she graduated and went on to college. But believe me the perfect people didn’t like it. Oh her boyfriend and his family were part of those perfect people. I really hope that doesn’t happen to you.
Your case is what it is and is not the norm – I’m sure. When and where do we draw the line on not bending over backwards for teens who make bad decisions?
Teens today are lazy and act like the world owes them just because they breathe the same air.
I try to teach my kids that EVERY action has a consequence. Some good, some bad. But this would be one of those actions that would result in homeschooling and learning to become a good parent that knows what it’s like to make genuine sacrifices for their kids.
And you can bet your ass that if my son got a girl pregnant, his butt would be homeschooled and not enjoying life like his friends either.
Kathy, you are right about many pregnant teens coming from good families and you’re right about stereotypes still getting in the way. My apologies.
Thank you Pickel,
I guess my main frustration with such out dated attitudes is that if we throw these girls to fend for themselves what chance do they or their babies have? Home schooling? yeah right!!! Give these girls a chance to get an education and don’t let a mistake destroy their future and the child’s. And as far as special concessions, please these are much cheaper that 2 generations of welfare.
Hmm..this is a tough subject. I think that just because a teenager becomes pregnant doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve and shouldn’t get an education just like everyone else. An education is essential to her and her babies future. How to go about providing this is another situation.
We could stereotype and say that all girls who wind up pregnant come from already dysfunctional home and, thus, homeschooling is already not an option. Though, I don’t believe that is the case anymore.
Everybody and anybody is having sex. Sex isn’t valued like it used to be. And people just aren’t being careful for whatever reason. There isn’t one good solution that would be the cure-all.
I went to a high school where there was a classroom for teens with children. They had the traditional learning and there was also parenting education available to them. I thought that was important as well. It’s a big leap from being a teen to being a mom and dad.
I really don’t know if I have a good idea for a solution. All I know is that they still deserve an education.
Wow. That you are really making some assumptions about teens who become pregnant. My sister also became pregnant as a teen. Like your other reader, she was an honor student and we are a strong, Christian family. It was a mistake to have sex, but her daughter was never a mistake. No concessions were made for her, but to say that these girls should be secluded is archaic.
I can’t even believe attitudes like this still exist. Sad.
Maybe the mindset is a bit archaic, but you know what? It worked for my grandparents and parents. Perhaps if more people were more old fashioned we wouldn’t even have the need to have this type of conversation!
I like my old fashioned morals just the way they are.
Oh my. So what you’re saying is that NO ONE in your parents or grandparents generation ever got pg? Or that when they did, the “right” thing was done by shipping them off and never letting them see or know anything about their babies? Somehow that was better than forgiveness and realizing sin is sin is sin? My goodness I hope my daughter never gets pregnant, but if she does I hope I could be as compassionate as my Father who ate with the sinners. That’s what grace is all about.
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I find it interesting that phrase “it worked for my grandparents and my parents” My grandparents started out driving horses and cooking on wood stoves. Can you imagine if they had never looked ahead
Rather than me feeling the need to defend my “old fashioned” frame of mind in thinking that schools should NOT have to create new policy to accommodate pregnant teens, why don’t you explain what exactly it is that schools should be doing in this very situation?
BTW, where exactly did I say “ship them off?”
Bet arguments are entertaining around your house
“BTW, where exactly did I say “ship them off?”” Fair enough. I’ll let you explain what you mean by this statement, “Maybe the mindset is a bit archaic, but you know what? It worked for my grandparents and parents. Perhaps if more people were more old fashioned we wouldn’t even have the need to have this type of conversation!”
And what do I think schools should be doing to accommodate pregnant teens? Allow them a little grace if they are showing they are willing to work hard for their education. By that I mean, allow them to have a schedule that supports them as expectant moms. I think the worst thing that could happen to them is to wind up pregnant and then not have an education once they have the baby. If it takes them 5 years to get through high school, so be it. Their education is important. I do think moms should be held to the same high standards grade wise, but I do think we should allow them some grace.
Yes, they made a mistake, but I don’t think we should make another mistake in denying them a good education. Now, if ANY student isn’t willing to work for an education, that’s different. I’m talking about moms who truly value their future but got pregnant. And yes, I do think my view is softer because of my sister. But I don’t see that as a bad thing.
What I mean by my mindset is not seeing pregnancy as a disability or special need. Women have worked and worked hard while pregnant for years. A teen going to school like normal kids is no different.
If they want special accommodations, then perhaps a teaching room for pregnant teens, monitored by the harshest nun on the planet with everything they’d need being within the room would be good enough. They could cram the full year education into a few months so they could have the time off for maternity leave without losing out at all.
I’ve got NO problem with them getting an education, “even if it does take 5 years.” What I do have a problem with was watching my terminally ill brother struggle for his grades and was not given any leniency for the times when he was in the children’s hospital clinging to life. He still had to do the work to get the grade.
He passed away at the age of 13. His last report card was full of D’s and C’s.
Perhaps it’s just me being bitter because I never saw special concessions being given where they should have been for a child who had no choice in the matter.
I say scare the hell out of teens. Let them know if they are going to play the game of breaking the rules, they’ll pay the price one way or the other. You are the parent, not their friend! Don’t be afraid to ground the hell out of them.
And lastly, I don’t want a pregnant teen who made a bad decision distracting from the education my kids should be getting.
I’m truly sorry about your brother. That must have been incredibly difficult for your family and you have my deepest sympathy.
However, pregnant teens did not cause your brother’s death and causing these young moms to suffer will not bring any sort of restitution for what happened to him.
And in defense of my sister (who is the sweetest person on the planet), I thank God you did not run the school she attended. What joy do we have in life if we don’t find ourselves in a place of grace and compassion instead of judgement.
“For ALL have sinned and fall short of the short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
I know they didn’t cause my brothers death, but this is a prime example of how everyone could pose an argument for “special concessions” from school. If teachers and staff are placed in the position of always coming up with special concessions for everyone who “needs” them, when will they have time to teach?
Everyone has a sob story.
Kids have it FAR too easy these days.
So many don’t want to work AT all! I say make them work in convenience stores, bus tables, pump gas, clean toilets for minimum wage. Talk about inspiration to succeed?!?!?
They’re spoiled to death
Parents buy them gifts instead of giving them love and quality time
Family isn’t what it used to be and it sure as heck needs to get back to that or we’re going to be in a world of hurt.
Would you believe I’m a registered liberal? LOL
How’s that for a walk on the wild side?
Sorry I havent posted had a nasty cold. You know its funny Gayla, we agree on so much yet so little. I refused to give my kids allowences for breathing and I didnt pay them for chores. I considered it rent. My kids worked hard and except for the baby that was gifted to us we had very little trouble. I dont think that schools should supply day care or special grading systems. I just think that they should be encouraged to stay in school and allowences made when they are really needed. No education wont stop the problem.
Kathy, glad you’re feeling better. That’s the exact point I was trying to make. I don’t think schools should be responsible for providing child care, special grading systems and the like. I think once a girl becomes pregnant, she should begin taking full responsibility for where her choices have gotten her.
Perhaps if she had to work to pay for child care while she got the education, she’d make sure she got good grades and got it over with as quickly as possible so she could at least save that much or get to a place where she could earn more yet.
It’s easy to make choices that get you pregnant, it’s not so easy taking responsibility for those choices.
Being a mother is the toughest JOB of all time – might as well start the training early rather than after delivery.
Here’s my two cents – not everyone knows this but I was a teen mom. I had my daughter when I was 15. I came from a relatively decent home, was an honor roll student, athlete and reasonably well liked. Some things happened and made me vulnerable to an all too attractive (and manipulative) older boy next door. You can figure out the rest but in a million years, I never thought it would be me people talked about being the “bad girl.”
What’s my opinion? There shouldn’t be exceptions made except for medical reasons. Pregnant students should be treated just like any other student with health issues but, obviously, within reason.
Despite my pregnancy, I finished high school a year early (part of it was regular school, part homeschool and part summer school). I am so glad that I didn’t get any special treatment because that’s certainly not how the world treated me. I believe we need to support and assist these girls in any way possible because finishing their education is key to their survival but realism is also important. I developed my strength and dedication to hard work by having to do things the hard way – it was my choice and I stuck by it.
Incidentally, the same kids whose parents were hardest on me are doing next to nothing with their lives while I’m working on a double masters degree and am happily married with three children. My oldest daughter (the one I talked about) is close to me, almost 15 herself, and on the provincial (equiv. to “statewide” in the US) honor roll.
Life is what you make it and your choices and missteps are opportunities to define who you are. That can’t happen if we get “special treatment.”
Hope this makes sense
I’m a pregnant teen and I think this is silly. I’m 14 and nearly 6 months pregnant. I’m working, doin gmy GCSE’s a year early and I am staying in school until February. I don’t get any concessions at all other than I do not have to participate in P.E. I am working hard at work and hard at school and I don’t see why pregnant teens should be segregated because of the simple fact that we are pregnant. it isn’t catching and we can do just as well as everyone else. I have saved over £500 by myself through my job because I have saved every penny and worked as often as I can. I would rather work hard to provide for my baby than be stuck on benefits that you are paying me through your taxes. Some people obviously feel that is a silly idea. It is foolish people like you who don’t realise what it is like for young parents. It’s attitudes like this that prevent us from getting decent jobs and gettin goff of benefits. I am giving birth late April time and still entering my GCSE’s in May and I am determined to prove to people with such attitudes that we are worth a lot more than segregation!!!
Sorry, though I agree teens should be required to finish school, I think they should go to night school or homeschool. Yeah, it is “archaic” and old fashioned, but trust me, teen pregnancy spreads. These teen girls aren not victims, and as a soceity, we force the ideas of rubbers and pills, we provide them in schools, there are plenty of free clinics, and yet theys still choose to have unsafe sex with men they are not legally or morally committed to. We have bent over backwards to “help” teens and the result-more teens getting pregnanct cuz they know it is socially acceptable, and bleeding hearts will make speical accomodations for them. THe aclu nuts will sue, but I no longer care. If my daughter gets pregnant, sure, I will love her, but her butt will not be showing her big belly to other girls. Yes, that is old fahsioned, but ya know what, all throughout history it has worked. In the fifties, a girl was either shipped off or she gave that kid up for adoption (which, for some reason, is considered less socially acceptable than being a parent at 14). You cannot drive, cant vote, cant drink booze or smoke cigs-if you are a teen from an unstable home with no support, a smart society would encourage adoption. I am tired of teen baby showers, teen mom this, teen mom that. We have failed morally- not educationally.
It is also hysterically funny that you teen mom posters (well, there are a few of you with sense) seem to think it is socieyt’s responsbiluty to baby you, help you get jobs, help give you special priviledges, free college when straight A students cannot even afford to go, etc. If you are old enough to have sex with a boy who is not your lawfully committed husband, you are old enough to make your own way or adopt it to somene who can. I pray for teen moms and wish them luck, but I am tired of encouraging teen parenting with all these special priviledges and demands.
Teens, even poor ones, wear designer tag clothing, have cell phones, their own cars, yet they cant buy birth control and expect society to pick the tab up for them. These kids today know no real responsilbuty, and everything is done for them, provided to them, yet bleeding hearts want to pretened they are no different than girls who dont have “accidents” (which I dont buy for a minute-many of these are not accidents). I admire the teen moms who made it on their own, and were unselfish enough to not encourage other girls to think it is cool to have a kid. Too many of you teen moms and the grandmothers of these moms think society owes them something. We dont, and yes, a teen mom should be treated different than the poor girl who stays in school, does not get “accidentally” on purpose preggo. Blast me if ya will, but I no longer care. Same thing would apply to my girl if she got knocked up. She would not be proudly prancing around.
we are all pissed about Spears being on OK, and blame a magazine for glorifying teen pregnancy, yet we glorify it in the schools. Maybe the mag was just trying to support Spears, like the public schools. Be more threatened about your emotional 15 yr old girl who gets dumped by her loser, non committed boyyfriend who sees her little teen friends getting special priviledges at school. How about that gov. enforced chld support? Teen girls think the courts can help keep dad around, or at least punish him for not being there. Go back to the 50s-stigmatize teen pregnancy and encourage adoption. Stop chasing guys around the courts to support some girl he was not legally bound to.
I’m really sorry but you have way too much time on your hands. You have the cheek to insult and put down teen mums. Your one of the socially ignorant people on this Earth that pre-judges and discriminates against teenage mothers simply because you feel that you yourself are a better person than us. You encourage adoption but to be quite honest if we are ‘old enough to have unprotected sex’ as you say then we are good people to step up to the mark and take responsibilty for our actions. I did not get any special privilidges and I did not and will never expect them. You judge us and make put us into a socially imoral group based on your opinion. You obviously have not taken the time to meet every single teen mum in Britain so to be quite honest your opinion is based on bias not fact. Perhaps you should take the time to actually find out what you are whining about before you do. You are more childish than half the teen mums in the world because you are too childish and ignorant to open your eyes to the real world and face facts. There are mums in their 40’s whose children get taken into care yet i do not see you arguing for EVERY mother in their 40’s to give their children up for adoption. Don’t categorise young mums by others standards. We have the right to be judged solely on ourselves and not categorised. I did my GCSE’s a year early on the excellerated curiculum and I did them less than 2 weeks after giving birth. I will be goin back to school for my next year and my son will go to nursery. I was working in a cafe waitressing until I was 8 months pregnant and I do work while I care for my son ironing. I work hard to provide for my son and I do not ’sponge off the state’. It’s people like you that make teen mums wonder if its worth it. We get judged anyway and nobody appreciates that we are in exactly the same situation as any parent at any age. I will always do my best for my son no matter what you think. I know I am a good mum and I am proud to be a teen mum and will never regret anything. My son is the most precious and amazing thing in my life and your opinion will never alter anything I do or think. I hope someday you realise how small you are as a person and someone tries to put you down the way you try to do with teen parents.
@ Kathryn – I applaud teen mothers who take responsibility for their own actions – however, it’s a real common practice here in the states for teens to get pregnant and want to play house until the weekend rolls around or until they are too tired to get up with the baby – then suddenly the baby becomes the responsibility of the grandparent.
I’m sorry but I am NOT raising my grandkids. I want to enjoy them, spoil them and send them home!
I teach my kids that proven examples of responsibility on their part earns certain privileges like driving. I have two that are 15 and are nowhere near mature enough to have me want to even think about putting them behind the wheel of a car.
They can’t even handle that type of responsibility – I know they couldn’t handle a baby.
I’ve told my teens that if they get a girl knocked up they are either going to talk her into adoption or they can move in with her family if they allow her to keep the baby.
I think and hope I have my boys fearful enough of becoming a teen dad that they will follow my advice – NEVER trust a girl who says she’s on the pill. The ONLY thing they can trust and believe is the shot and that’s IF they see it go into the arm. Aside from that they are on their own for birth control – and to NEVER think that one time without won’t hurt anything.
i never realised how strongly people thought of teen pregnancy!!
All of you’ll full of it! I dont think pregnant teens should go to regular school. why the hell they having sex at ages 13-17. If your woman enough to take it well your woman enough to make it on your own. I go to High school, I am a honor student and it is very eye hurting to see 50 percent of the 9 graders pregnant. To add to that 45% of the 9th graders alone has sexual transmitted disease in my school and im speaking facts. Now if you do things old school and tell the teens they would be kicked out of school they would think 3 times before they open their legs.
And when Im in the lunch room and i want food I have to wait for the ton loads of pregnant teen go get their food.
Here’s the deal:
If you get pregnant and you’re a teenager, you should have an abortion.
If you don’t, then its your own problem, not the school’s. I’m sorry, its as simple as that.
I, the taxpayer, am happy to help pay for sex education and free condoms for high schoolers. I am not going to pay for them to be pregnant, though, and its unreasonable for them to expect otherwise.
Whoever whined about their “honor student” daughter really doesn’t get it. It is as simple as that. She should have had an abortion. If she refused to have one, then clearly, while an “honor student”, she obviously wasn’t very intelligent – hardly shocking, given the standards in schools these days, especially given she could have been an “honor student” without taking advanced coursework. She should have had an abortion before it became an issue.