Should We Laugh/Joke About Alzheimer’s?
April 14, 2008 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Facing Alzheimer’s With Love and Laughter is the subtitle of The Last Dance. It brings to mind the question…“Should we laugh and joke about Alzheimer’s?”
Some caregivers and spokespersons for Alzheimer’s became very upset because Julie Christie joked about memory loss during an interview associated with her movie, Away From Her. However, others felt we should lighten up because she wasn’t meaning anything derogatory.
What do you think when it concerns laughing and joking about Alzheimer’s?
In general, I feel, it depends on the situation and how the remark was said. I found, when caring for Mother, that laughter helped get all of us through.
I recall one day, when Jim and I laughed at a situation, that Mother turned and looked at us. Then she remarked, “We don’t laugh enough.” She seemed relieved that we were finding humor in the situation instead of scolding her.
When I once asked Auntie why she put her dirty underwear in the sock drawer, she answered, “I don’t remember.” Then she paused, looked at me and grinned, “I’ve got Alzheimer’s. Remember?” So we both laughed, and Auntie also enjoyed humor rather than scolding.
The way one approaches Alzheimer’s humor depends on how their words will be perceived. If it’s thought someone is making fun of the Alzheimer’s patient or disease in a derogatory way, then people will get upset. If the humor is approached with love and sensitivity, most people won’t object.
When caring for Mother and Auntie, we all found that “laughter lightened the load.”
(c)2006 Mary Emma Allen
I like that comment “we don’t laugh enough.” We don’t, as a whole. I know I don’t.
Even when I worked in palliative care, with patients who were dying of cancer, there was laughter. there was laughter among the patients and their families, and among the staff.
Just because someone has Alzheimer’s or is dying, doesn’t mean that humor has left the world. There’s a time and a place for everything and we all need to be able to know when it is time to laugh. And it’s a sad world when people try to take that away.
I think an ability to laugh no matter the situation is a strength.
When I was a teenager, my grandmother was taking care of her sister with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother was great at finding humor in situations, and making it clear that it was OK for us to laugh, too. I think a houseful of laughing, happy people was good for us all, including my great aunt.
Thanks, Mary Emma, for being willing to blog about this. I’d like to ping back to you on my blog regarding this subject as well, if that’s okay.
I agree with you–laughter is a blessed gift–and while there’s a fine line between a well-intentioned joke and cruel joke, there is a line that is subjective.
Besides, you know I have wicked sense of humor, but I tell you what, it kept me alive in caring for my mom~
Humor always takes a risk, but it’s a risk worth taking.
~Carol D. O’Dell
Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir
available on Amazon
http://www.mothering-mother.com
Thank you so much for this gentle reminder. I so agree – laughter can lighten a load that can sometimes feel too heavy to bear.