Simple But Not Easy
August 9, 2006 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Had the pleasure and opportunity to sit in a meeting this week where the topic was acceptance.
Have also had the opportunity to hear that some folks feel it was only Dr. Paul’s personal opinion (3rd Edit., “Doctor, Addict and Alcoholic,” 4th Edit., “Acceptance Was The Answer”) and therefore, isn’t a really real part of the principles of AA. I’ve even seen it said that “struggling for acceptance” is “VERY un-AA.”
Well, as Bill W. relates his experience with the Steps on pgs. 13-15 in “Bill’s Story,” he comes to a place where he says “Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.
Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.
These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.”
Perhaps it is only how I perceive Bill’s writings but had he not said “revolutionary and drastic” and “destruction” and “I must turn” I might not have developed the feeling that acceptance was a struggle. Additionally, to be openly sarcastic I suppose, these words are certainly within the first 164 pages, for the purist.
What is the point? If you are struggling with acceptance, you are not alone. One of the founders of AA struggled with it and if he got thru it, so can you!
If you’d like to, and haven’t heard Dr. Paul, here is a link to download a tape of Dr. Paul speaking. Dr. Paul was a good, solid, long-term sober, member of AA who helped large numbers of us, including me.
That is one of my favorite stories in the 4th edition.
I guess some people just can’t accept change.
I have to admit that when I first got sober, and didn’t have any relationship to speak of with a higher power that I was aware of, I knew I had to pray because that’s what was being asked of me. Not knowing what or how to pray, I found myself searching for answers in the big book. When I landed on page 449 of the 3rd, I felt like I’d really gotten ahold of something. For a long time, I had made those paragraphs part of my daily prayers.
I’ve heard arguments about how it doesn’t really fit in. I actually had the opportunity to hear Dr. Paul speak and he made a few comments about how he himself felt the story was way over rated. But I know it was of tremendous help to me in those early months.
Today, I half belief that the word Acceptance is really just a “code word” for my higher power and the principles of A.A. My sponsor likes this chapter the least of them I’m sure, but it still ranks high with me.
In the chapter Freedom from Bondage is the wonderful quote: “The only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it”. I too find this to be the ultimate freedom. This still isn’t an spontaneous reaction. A great deal of manipulation usually takes place in that awkward period of time… The time in between recognizing the problem and eventually wanting to take the action. That’s where I find God most frequently. My journey to find Him usually begins once I’ve accepted the situation as it truly is and that I’m going to need HIS help in moving forward.
I have nothing profound to add. Just a thanks for your continued postings that make me think
If you give your will to a Higher Power, how could you have the will to continue to control your will? And if you don’t have the will to control your will & can’t control your will any longer, then how could you continue to place your will in the care of your Higher Power? What’s to stop you from accidentally “taking your will back” without meaning to do so?