Simple Rules For Office Romances
October 18, 2009 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
People spend most of their lives on the job these days. It can leave little time for other pursuits – including love. Office romances are no longer as taboo as they used to be. Use a few common sense rules – for example, date laterally, not vertically - and maybe you can find love at work, too.
I read online at ABC Newsthat CareerBuilder.com did a survey of 8000 people and found that almost half of them – 4 out of 10 – have become romantically involved with someone they worked with. Almost a third of them – 3 in 10 – ended up marrying someone they met and dated from work.
Now on to those rules……
*As I mentioned before, do not date a supervisor or anyone who works directly below you.
*If you are unable to avoid the above situation, then you need to make up a “cupid contract” where both partners “…spell out in writing the fact that both are engaging in a consensual relationship.”
*Pepper Schwartz, of PerfectMatch.com, recommends slowing down and really evaluating what you want out of your relationship. Working with someone after a break up could be very awkward. Proceed with caution.
*Here’s a piece of advice from my own experience – don’t tell anyone what you are doing until you are sure it’s going to be serious. People talk and nobody loves a good rumor more than jealous co-workers.
Image credit: Sxc.hu
A friend of mine had a brief romance with a coworker. She didn’t tell anyone about it directly, but EVERYONE knew by their actions that something was going on. And to top it all off when she tried to cut strings with this guy he became a bit obsessive and stalkerish and, yep, they still had to work together. Good thing they didn’t have a ton of direct interaction at work with him. But still a very uncomfortable situation when it doesn’t work out.
That sounds uncomfortable for everyone involved. He sounds a bit off-balance. Scary.
I’m going to have to agree that office romances are a bad idea. If something goes wrong, it can cause big problems unless you work for a big mega-company where you won’t cross paths if something happens. If it’s just a fling thing between consenting adults, that’s one thing, but all out relationships are a bad idea. That sounds awful, I know, but if you have to do it because of an intense attraction, settle for a booty call. Ugh. That sounds even worse. Just don’t do it.
If you just go for the booty call, then there’s the risk of earning a reputation as the office booty call girl. I think that a relationship could work, if the couple is able to keep the realtionship out of work – for example, don’t date someone from your department.
It would be best to date someone outside of the office, but people don’t always have time to get out and meet new men and women.