Soaring…Having a life with CFS
July 7, 2007 by laura
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away
I don’t know where my soul is, I don’t know where my home is
I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away
I don’t know where my soul is , I don’t know where my home is
All I need for you to know is…
Today, I watched a dance troupe engage an audience in a really interesting performance. The work was entitled, Conference of the Birds. This piece has given me a whole lot of insight into my own life….including the part of my life where I live with CFS. Before I comment on what I saw today, I will give a summary of the performance (provided by the Fujiwara Dance Inventions people).
Birds come from far and wide to discuss a proposed journey to seek enlightenment – a journey purpoted to be long and unimaginably difficult. All in a flap, the birds give reasons for why each is unsuitable or unable to go, but finally they muster the courage to embark; and so begins their journey and the dance.
I sometimes (not always) use Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as my crutch. I use it as an excuse not to evolve. It is safe in my little world. The bubble that I live in is very protected. The walls that I have constructed are impenetrable. Because of this, I am not able to grow. I stopped thinking about consequences a long time ago…but somewhere along the way I lost my drive to search out new ideas.
The unknown will not make a person sick. What will make a person unwell, is getting stuck in old patterns. Not evolving or wanting to evolve. Choosing to keep your mind closed, because you are afraid. What is this getting you? For me, absolutely nothing. A new mindset may not bring about perfect health….but a new mindset and resolve, will bring about new opportunities and just maybe a more interesting and more profound life. And don’t we deserve that?
This past week, I took the very first steps in exploring a world outside my comfortable little nest. I am so glad that I did. While what happened, wasn’t exactly the result that I wanted….I do want more of this new world. It excites me, and that is energizing.
Tell me, what are you doing to explore the world outside of your own nest….big or small steps, I am interested in hearing all about it.
**The picture was taken at today’s performance. The performers are members of the Fujiwara Dance Inventions
***Oops I forgot to mention that the lyrics at the top of the post are from I’m Like a Bird, by Nelly Furtado.
Hi Laura – Good for you in taking that “risk”. Those of us living with the “chronic” in any chronic illness know what it is to want to hold back, even hide, from anything that might be make us feel even worse. How do we decide is it’s “worth” it? I think it’s always better to err on the side of going for “it” and knowing that there might be more pain ahead. The pain of not venturing out, over the long haul, would be worse.
Thanks Rosalind,
Well Said!!!
I am beginning to think that hiding from the world, or the illness and not doing anything about it, is actually more of a risk (that will never pay off) than even attempting something…at least then, there are better odds.
Ahh, Laura, it’s something that we all need to work on. Check out my posting on today’s posting on my blog, http://www.keepworkinggirlfriend.com. It was inspired by your post today on the research. We have much to learn from each other in the different disease worlds! Rosalind
Its funny how thinking that you can be well enough to hold down at least one fulltime job, and appear to have a bit of a life…but its really just pretend.
I have realized there is so much out there….lots to chase after. I am not able to be happy with what I have any longer (and what I had wasnt so bad)….but I got a little taste (of more) and now I want that.
Your post was great!!! I suspect the ways that we use to live with our chronicness, are very similar….