Social freedom’s at 15-years-old – yes, no or maybe?
Just for chips and giggles, I told my kid I was going to post MY rule as it applies to their social life at the ripe old age of fifteen and see what other parents think – what other parents rules may be and see if I should leave a little room for discussion here.
When I was fifteen, I wasn’t allowed to date at all – so I consider the fact that I allow my kids to even have a girlfriend at their age is being lenient.
So – here’s my rule:
The boys are allowed to see their girlfriend once a week. That means going to a movie – a friends party or cosmic bowling, whatever. Most times parents are involved – so I am not so worried.
One is really trying to stretch that once a week into two or three times a week. Even to the point that he told me the girls grandmother invited him to a cookout at her house.
The curfew is 10:00 PM – not a single minute after. Period – non negotiable.
The curfew increases at the age of 16 to 11:00 PM and at 17 to 12:00 AM – where it will remain so long as they live under my roof.
When they have their girlfriends over, they are to NEVER ever go into their rooms and shut the door. Albeit my husbands son has broken that rule several times at the age of 14.
I told the twins that if I EVER caught them in a compromising position – like in their rooms with the doors shut or laying with their girlfriends all over each other – I would make it my personal mission to embarrass them beyond all imagination and that would be the last time they would have that privilege until the next birthday where their maturity would be tested once again.
The husband seems to forget his son isn’t the same age as the twins and lets him share much of the same privileges. It does cause a little tension, but that is his decision, not mine.
I stress to my kids that they are my responsibility and that my rules apply.
So, am I being too difficult? Too strict? Am I really, the meanest mom on the planet who just doesn’t know what it’s like because things have changed Sooo much since I was a teen?
(image: stock.xchg)
Those all seem very reasonable to me! We have had the no friends of the opposite sex in the bedroom AT ALL rule since kindergarten. Luckily the way our house is set up, there is just no reason for the kids to go up to their rooms with friends.
Keep us posted.
Thanks for the vote of confidence
The one who keeps sneaking off to his room has his room in the basement off of the recreation room.
We learned how to keep that under control though – we hire the two littlest neighbors to come over and bug them. That keeps them out of that room for sure now
Believe me, I’ll be keeping you posted. They all know they are so blogged.
I think the one about being able to see their girlfriends once a weeks is a tad bit on the harsh side.
I say they can see their girlfriends as long as their grades are good, chores are done, and their priorities have been met in which case you have a right to know where and with whom. If a parent is not available and they can’t provide you with an address or phone number then they don’t go.
Oh and at 14 and 15 Mom & Dad can drop them off and pick them up and if the other parents are not available to speak with you then they don’t go.
Now the part about that being his decision and your rules being your rules.. you might try and get on the same page with all your kids. Your rules and his rules should be the same rules and you guys should be a united front.
You are NOT the meanest MOM. You are a really Good Mom!
I don’t think your rules are THAT outrageous. Maybe a little strict, but not much. I think the important thing to remember is to give/revoke priviledges based on the kid and not focus so much on age. I had to earn my right to have a later curfew. If I proved I could handle being out later and being responsible, then I was allowed a later curfew. I knew that would be yanked away if I screwed up. I earned my parents trust and I was very aware of how fragile it was. I was a very responsible kid because being responsible meant having more freedom.
I completely agree with your rules. My house rules are very similar. I did make the 18yrs & up curfew/lights out at 2am due to we all have a later schedule. My hubby works late/sleeps late.
We’re having trouble as I have a 19 year old (I think I’m going to post this up for advice) that his bio-dad tells him he doesn’t have to listen to our rules. HA! See how far that goes in my house.
We also have a blended family and I agree that you should have one house rule set for all kids. It’s just better if you provide a single front in this war! ;}
Keep strong! Your kids will benefit in the long run.
I wasn’t allowed to have visitors of the opposite sex in my room as a teen. (We moved to a 2 story house when I was about 11, so before that it wasn’t really an issue). My brother had the same rule. I think it is a good idea.
Of course I do have a solution for the son that can’t seem to keep the girls out of his bedroom.
Just take his bedroom door away. That should solve the problem.
It’s really quite easy to take the door off the hinges.
Yes, I am speaking from experience.
Those rules don’t seem strict to me. In my house, dating and boyfriends aren’t even options, even though I’m turning 19 at the end of the year. Curfew has never been a problem for me because I don’t go out much.
These rules are crazy…
What’s wrong with boys having girls in their room?
Let them know the dangers of sex, and hopefully they won’t have it. These years are never coming back, don’t take them away from your kid’s just because your parents did it too you by being too strict.
I know this is an old post, but I’m replying anyway. I came online looking to see if I was the strictest, “hovering” Mom around (per my 15 yr old son). I’m glad to see I have pretty much the same rules. That’s a relief. Any updates are consequences since you published this last year?