Some signs that you may be a mother

How can you recognize a mother? Easy.

Signs that you may be a mother:

1. You cut yourself and find yourself wearing a bandage featuring Dora, Spongebob Squarepants, or some other such cartoon character.
2. While standing in line all by yourself, you realize that you’re swaying back and forth, a motion that is a permanent affliction caused by all the rocking you did in the newborn months.
3. You talk to people in the third person.
4. You pull your hair back with your child’s hair bands and elastics which, much like the bandages, feature cartoon characters and come in primary colors.
5. You cut the crusts off your sandwiches and cut them into triangles.
6. You catch yourself singing kids’ songs (either in your head, or worse – out loud) when your kids aren’t around.
7. Your living room looks like a toy store threw up in it.
8. You’ve gone so long without a full night of sleep that even when your kids DO sleep all night, you wake up anyway.
9. You can recite Dr. Seuss and the like from memory.
10. When talking about food with other adults, you accidentally refer to “trees” instead of broccoli, and other kid-friendly nicknames.
11. You refer to your husband as “Daddy” because you’re so used to talking about him to your kids.

What are some signs you’ve seen that make you a mother?

(I’ve done all of those things except the last one so far!)